My awesome roommate and I have lived together since freshman year of college – we talk a lot, and there’s pretty much nothing we don’t know about each other. A few weeks ago we had a heart to heart that I can’t stop thinking about and now I’m mentioning it to everyone. Friends, colleagues, family, random people on the street. So let me set the scene:
Muffin, as she is known around the house, is an actress. A very VERY good one. She is also a mean baker, a health nut, and a gluten-free advocate. She’s also a fantastic writer, a comedienne, the best grocery-shopper I have ever known. As I mentioned in an earlier post, she moved to New York to pursue theater, and while I know she will be hugely successful, she wants to spend her life doing ALL the things she loves, not just one.
We’re allowed to be good at more than one thing
I moved to New York to pursue publishing. But I also love to write, cook, paint things and generally be crafty. But I moved to New York to work with books, meaning the only acceptable path in my life is to start at the bottom and work my way up. Apparently I have to always work with books. In the course of 20 years I should be the best in my field, giving speeches, teaching 20-somethings and successfully wearing pantsuits. Ew.
My mom (also awesome) wanted to join the ministry when she was my age. Then she dropped out of college and became a DJ, then a reporter for CNN. She then became an author and wrote a book about the TWA 800 crash. Because of this she became an expert. So she joined an aviation law firm as an investigator. She now writes freelance and is a Principal at Humanitarian Research Services. During all this time (I’ve left quite a bit out) she traveled to the Sahara to dig up a plane, moved to Syria to learn Arabic… The list goes on. I basically want to be my mom. I have a million passions and ideas and the thought of doing one thing for my entire life makes me tired. I also think it makes me boring. The least boring person on the planet is my mother. Who DOESN’T want to be that awesome?
Why is it that our society expects us to choose one thing and stick with it forever? People who jump from one job to the next are usually seen as irresponsible and flaky. But really they’re interesting and… here’s that word again… awesome.
I’ve started writing freelance, and have been hitting a few roadblocks. I have a few clips, but nothing major. But I’m 22, give me a break! But in journalism, regardless of your ideas or your writing ability, unless you’ve written for a major national magazine or newspaper, no one gives a crap. I pitched a story a few weeks ago to Major Parenting Magazine. The idea rocked. Editor was interested. She responded right away, we emailed back and forth, I wrote a nice long pitch, got my sources, etc etc. I gave her writing samples. Which is when it stalled. Apparently, I couldn’t write for MPM unless I had already written for another magazine, similar to theirs. Um…. Hello?! How does that make any sense? If you like my writing and you like my idea, what’s the damn problem? And do I need to mention the fact that it’s a vicious circle and how does anyone get anywhere with this mentality? I have written before, and the writing samples I do have should showcase my abilities regardless. But apparently not.
Whatever, I sold an article to Babble the same day.
Experience is Relative
My point is this: If we’re good at something, we’re good at it. End of story. Unless you’re a heart surgeon, experience is relative. Why should we have to work for years and years at something in order to validate ourselves and our “chosen career”? We ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and they answer: teacher, fireman, astronaut, ballerina. And from the very beginning we give kids the idea that they can only be really good at one thing. That everything else they’re passionate about has to be pushed to the side and gets put in that horrible category of “hobby”. Which as we know, never gets taken seriously.
Plus, these careers can’t work in tandem. If I were to be an editor, do that for five years, then suddenly turn around to be in sales, I’d have to start all the way at the bottom again. Except for the fact that things you learn from 5 years as an editor can be hugely helpful as a saleswoman. There’s this assumption that when we choose one thing, we’re then incompetent at others. Of course, there are exceptions: law enforcement, lawyers, doctors, where you obviously you need more training than a simple BA or editorial gig.
But still, I’ve always wanted to be a cop. Maybe someday I will. After I write a book, open a bakery, travel the world, be a photographer and generally find a way to nurture all my passions and get paid at the same time.
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