It seems to me that the most successful blogs, business or otherwise, are those that have an even balance between the topic and the author’s personal life. Readers like to connect, and unlike traditional print media, authors can connect back.

Adding personal touches

The blogs that interest me the most are those where I feel I know the author and the ones that get the most responses are those that make us feel like we’re a part of something. Lucky magazine has an eBay blog and a while back the blogger got married. While it would have been boring as hell to listen to her talk about her upcoming wedding all the time, the little tidbits she did include made me feel like I had a friend. I realize how corny that sounds, but the more I do this the more I see how useful your life is as a blogging tool.

I often hear people bitch about social media saying, “I don’t care what you had for breakfast!” or “Why do I want to read about what someone did today?” It’s funny because I am definitely guilty of this, but blogs have come a long way and (except for Lamebook) I’ve never actually seen anyone write about what they had for breakfast.

However, where there’s a blog that’s good in it’s own right, personal touches make it that much more successful. Look at Penelope Trunk – she tweeted about her miscarriage and recently posted about her difficult break up. Whether you care or disagree, the point is this: Penelope’s post about her breakup (as of today) has received 267 comments. Her post about being an introvert at work? 80.

Now, 80 comments is nothing to complain about. But Penelope’s blog couldn’t just be about her breakup, there needs to be a balance. People care more about the buisnessy-stuff you have to say when there’s a person behind the advice, flaws and all.

Stories trigger feedback

I admit though, I don’t like to talk about my personal life for the whole world to see. I have a thick skin, but when it comes to my own things, I’d rather keep them private. While that may sound respectable, it’s really because I’m a chicken. That being said, the most responses I’ve received on this blog have been when I’ve mentioned something about my life (getting a job, making a big decision, etc) or when I deliberately try to piss people off. But you will never see me writing about a break up or a fight with my parents (until now apparently, see below). That’s just not how I roll. I’m still unsure whether this is a smart career move, but I feel that after this post I should include some personal information about myself.

A little more about me

A while ago I got tagged on Facebook in one of those list-25-things-about-yourself notes. Here’s an excerpt – it’s fascinating stuff:

1. I hate raisins. I mean, HATE them. Bane of my very existence.

2. I have a lot road rage but seriously love to drive. Ideally in no traffic, with the top down and listening to AC/DC.

3. I have three younger brothers who I pretend annoy the crap out of me, when really, they’re the loves of my life.

4. I wish I could get paid to travel. I know there are careers out there, but I’m too lazy for that. I just want to travel and get paid for it.

5. I’ve been a strict vegetarian for 3 years, on-and-off for an additional 4. My grandma’s chicken soup is the only reason I would ever consider giving it up.

6. I want to live out my days in a cabin in the woods. For those of you who have seen the movie Matilda, I want to live in Miss Honey’s cottage forever and ever.

7. Backpacking solo through Europe changed my life.

8. I have a white tattoo on my wrist. If you didn’t know this, you’d never see it. Sometimes though I wish someone would notice so I could look like a bad ass.

9. Am terrified of sharks and have nightmares about them all the time but they also strangely fascinate me and I always go to aquariums when I’m in a city just to see them.

There you go… Feel like you know a little more about me? Of course, the only interesting things that people care about involve deeply personal shit I swore I’d never mention. The facts above are mildly interesting, but noteworthy they are not. While I was still at work I had a long conversation with my coworkers when, after two months, I finally revealed something very personal. The office relationships were instantly altered. I felt like we knew each other better and it was easier to talk to them.

So here’s a very brief explanation of something only people close to me know. Obviously, it involves a relationship (all the good gossip does): I dated this guy for a while. And by a while I mean 7 years.  Meaning I was practically in utero when we started dating (ages 13 to 20 to be exact). This relationship was both the best and worst experience of my life. Best because I learned a lot. Worst because it took over my childhood, was abusive, destructive and unhealthy for both parties. Fortunately, we’re now on good terms, but that was only after a bloody 2 year goodbye which broke my heart.

That’s the juicy stuff. Happy now?

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Bull shit. Beating around the bush. White lies. Etc etc. Not a fan. In some cases using euphemisms/beating around the bush can spare feelings and it’s just plain courteous. Except the power of honesty connects people and over the past few months I’ve decided formalities are a load of crap.

Blunt honesty as a pitching tool

I’m going to use a PR example, but this applies to anyone: you’re pitching a story and have the perfect spin, a great contact and basically everything’s great. I’ve mentioned this before, but unless the pitch is personalized, you’re probably not going to get anywhere. Journalists (and people as a whole) can smell out a cut-and-paste job from a mile away. HOWEVER, I’ve had a good amount of success when pitching (myself, products, or otherwise) when I acknowledge I’m taking up valuable time and can honestly promote product x.

Again, this applies to everything. Another example? Job interviews. I can’t speak for HR because  I don’t know the logistics, but personally, I’d rather interview someone who gives an honest, detailed answer instead of something like “I’m a hard working self starter.” Ummm, barf?

A few months ago I heard a story about a guy who was applying for a government job. Like most gigs at that level, they do a drug test. The hair one – basically meaning you’re screwed if you’ve ever smoked pot in your life. Before taking the test said guy told his new boss that he smoked a little in college… but hadn’t since. Despite his honestly, the kid was denied the job. Why? First of all, don’t get me started on pot, but they could have tested his urine to make sure it wasn’t recent! Before taking the test he owned up! He was honest! What’s the damn problem?

Granted, the drug thing is obviously controversial, but I feel this is the case with a lot of issues. We’re often punished for being honest or overly friendly. Reread that. Overly friendly. Last summer I had a boss tell me (nicely) that when I started applying for “real jobs” I should consider making my emails less casual. I understand it’s a sign of respect to use Mr. or Ms. instead of a stranger’s first name, but everything else is a little extreme. Here are two examples:

Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing to apply for the Assistant Manager position advertised on Yahoo! jobs. As requested, I am enclosing a completed job application, my resume and a reference.

vs.

Dear Mr. Smith, I was so excited when I saw your advertisement on Yahoo for the Assistant Manager opening! My experience matches perfectly with what you’re looking for and I’d love to come in for an interview.

Neither is the perfect opening to a cover letter but do you catch my drift? I’d so rather see passion and drive and obvious – honest - desire for a position than a cookie-cutter formality that my dog could write (my dog runs into walls on a regular basis by the way). Also, because tone is hard to grasp in writing, I’m a big fan of exclamation points. Example:

My schedule opens up next week. Let’s plan for lunch on the 2nd. Looking forward to meeting you.

vs.

My schedule opens up next week. Let’s plan for lunch on the 2nd. Looking forward to meeting you!

Enthusiasm = Believability

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m more likely to believe a statement with a little more enthusiasm. And before you say it’s juvenile and/or unprofessional, your career – and life – kind of revolve around networking. How the hell are you going to make any friends if you can’t muster up the excitement and (ahem) personality that convinces your contact you enjoy their company? You can’t, that’s how.

So maybe before you change all your “can’t”s to “cannot”s, remove the smiley faces and exclamation points from your business emails and add in the bull shit, think about who you would be more likely to respond to. And yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition.

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