Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”?

by Marian Schembari on January 21, 2010

I got this email yesterday:

Hey my name is Harry.
After watching such shows such as Californication and Entourage and reading such books like Happy Hour is for Amateurs and I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, I figured why not write and become famous? Well I made a blog about some of my exploits and ran across your site on that 20 something bollocks n’ blogs site. Maybe if I could interest you in reading my shit (that is of course if you like it and dont find it too offensive …) I would love to work with you and network. Interested? Let me know cause I already find what your doing quite commendable – like, no shit. This is where the douche bag links to his ridiculous blog. This particular link goes to my Twitter feed because I’m significantly more awesome. You’re welcome.
take it easy
harry

My response:

Hey Harry,

Thanks so much for getting in touch. Do you know what’s really funny? The cut and paste function. You know, like that control c thing one does when they’re too lazy to type. Or find out someone’s name. Or read someone’s blog to find out if it’s relevant. Like, no shit.

My very best,
Marian

Now, you know my love of all words filthy. I like the f-bomb as much as the next classy lady. But when you want something from someone and have obviously made no effort whatsoever to get to know said person before asking something, maybe don’t swear. Or direct me to a filthy blog (to which I’m refusing to link). Take that Henry Harry (that’s how much I care, wanker).

Example number two of Things That Piss Me Off Online: People on Twitter who repeat the same thing over and over and over again and do nothing but link to their own crap. Some idiot in the publishing Twitterverse started following me, so I followed them back. Until I realized that every tweet said something along these lines:
  • Did you know: We at XYZ Books can design your whole novel?
  • Did you know: It only costs $2 to write a book?
  • Did you know: This is really boring and a bad way to get business?
Did YOU know social media is an awesome way to connect with people and promote your brand? But that you can’t do it if all you do is promote yourself? Gosh darn it people! Every blog on social media says this over and over again. Why do so many people not listen? Why do PR people send me press releases on shit I could care less about? Why is some ass wipe sending me a link to his pervy site without even checking out my blog? It takes 1 minute to personalize an email, children. Listen to your Uncle Billy (that one’s for you, Muffin). Click here for my all-time favorite example of talking back to the idiots who spam us (via The Bloggess).
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  • http://twitter.com/pete_kistler/status/8028995354 Pete Kistler

    @marianschembari: Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? http://bit.ly/8fUaVV

  • Marian Schembari

    Do people understand the "social" part of "social media"? http://bit.ly/4taTaf

  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/8032119433 Marian Schembari

    Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? http://bit.ly/8fUaVV

  • http://twitter.com/sarahwriteskikc/status/8034601418 Sarah Lyons

    Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? | Marian Schembari: http://bit.ly/5oZN5L via @addthis

  • http://twitter.com/lindawonder/status/8035163540 Linda White

    RT from Marian Schembari Do people understand the "social" part of "social media"? http://bit.ly/4taTaf

  • http://twitter.com/MarianSchembari/status/8032119433 Cassie

    RT @marianschembari: Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? http://bit.ly/8fUaVV

  • http://www.bookmaniaonline.com/ Linda White

    Marian-
    Found you through the Brazen Careerist Social Media group. This is awesome, you have hit the nail on the head. I’ve worked in publicity for years, and I keep telling people – it’s not that hard. Well, it apparently is, because people won’t take the time to do the research – to actually LOOK at the website of the station, peruse a copy of the magazine, before pitching. So yeah, I guess it is HARD, but it’s certainly not like you have to be a rocket scientist to do it. It is all about relationships, and social media is no different from any other medium in that regard. Even more so, in fact, so it’s incumbent upon the wanker to do his research and get a real clue. And to those who blatantly promote themselves while offering no real value – adios!
    Thanks for this post!
    Linda

  • http://www.bookmaniaonline.com Linda White

    Marian-
    Found you through the Brazen Careerist Social Media group. This is awesome, you have hit the nail on the head. I’ve worked in publicity for years, and I keep telling people – it’s not that hard. Well, it apparently is, because people won’t take the time to do the research – to actually LOOK at the website of the station, peruse a copy of the magazine, before pitching. So yeah, I guess it is HARD, but it’s certainly not like you have to be a rocket scientist to do it. It is all about relationships, and social media is no different from any other medium in that regard. Even more so, in fact, so it’s incumbent upon the wanker to do his research and get a real clue. And to those who blatantly promote themselves while offering no real value – adios!
    Thanks for this post!
    Linda

  • Linda White

    Do people understand the "social" part of "social media"? http://bit.ly/4taTaf

  • Rachel Vincent

    Marian,

    Saw your comment on Brazen as well. :)

    I don’t understand why this is so hard for people to understand. 1. It is in their best interest to actually make sure the people that they talk to actually care, 2, even more importantly, it is common courtesy and basic social etiquette. I think Linda has a great point. Social situations have always been about relationships. Just because online media allows us to be social in a new way doesn’t change the fact that it is SOCIAL. I would never walk into some random building and just start spouting off about my life or interests. Why would I do that online?

    So, my questions are 1. how often do you get random, non-personalized invitations (what percent of people do you think are doing that and is it improving?), and 2. have you found anything to be particularly effective in getting them to understand that their actions are not acceptable?

    Thanks!

    Rachel

  • http://www.kikini.com Rachel Vincent

    Marian,

    Saw your comment on Brazen as well. :)

    I don’t understand why this is so hard for people to understand. 1. It is in their best interest to actually make sure the people that they talk to actually care, 2, even more importantly, it is common courtesy and basic social etiquette. I think Linda has a great point. Social situations have always been about relationships. Just because online media allows us to be social in a new way doesn’t change the fact that it is SOCIAL. I would never walk into some random building and just start spouting off about my life or interests. Why would I do that online?

    So, my questions are 1. how often do you get random, non-personalized invitations (what percent of people do you think are doing that and is it improving?), and 2. have you found anything to be particularly effective in getting them to understand that their actions are not acceptable?

    Thanks!

    Rachel

  • Cassie

    RT @marianschembari: Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? http://bit.ly/8fUaVV

  • http://www.kinseym.com/ Kinsey Michaels

    Hi Marian, I found your blog on 20SB.net. I am embarrassed to admit after reading this post that I do promote my blog a little bit on Twitter, but it’s not the only thing I tweet about. It’s hard to get your name out there, some people use the most drastic of measures. I agree, it’s important to research your audience. Clearly Harry’s email to you was a waste of his own time, not to mention extremely impersonal. Very interesting topic that I’d like to learn more about!

  • http://www.kinseym.com/ Kinsey Michaels

    Hi Marian, I found your blog on 20SB.net. I am embarrassed to admit after reading this post that I do promote my blog a little bit on Twitter, but it’s not the only thing I tweet about. It’s hard to get your name out there, some people use the most drastic of measures. I agree, it’s important to research your audience. Clearly Harry’s email to you was a waste of his own time, not to mention extremely impersonal. Very interesting topic that I’d like to learn more about!

  • Bear Heiser

    Great article I suggest checking out. Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? http://bit.ly/7FGPc4 #SocialMedia #blogging

  • Bear Heiser

    Great article I suggest checking out. Do people understand the “social” part of “social media”? http://bit.ly/7FGPc4 #SocialMedia #brazen

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