February 2010

8 Things I’ve Learned from Working Retail

by Marian Schembari on February 9, 2010

This is a public service announcement.

Fake smile, people. Learn to spot one. That’s actually death in her eyes.

I recently took a part-time job to pay the bills as my freelance work started growing. The job and my coworkers are surprisingly awesome but I’m dangerously close to lighting the building on fire while at the exact moment it’s filled with customers. Seriously ya’ll, people are idiots. So out of the goodnes of my heart, here are some tips for ANY TIME YOU EVER PURCHASE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE:

1. When standing in line, for the love of God please take out your wallet before heading to the counter. Not only does it annoy the crap out of me when people spent 45 minutes fumbling for their wallets, but you’re holding up the line! What the hell else are you doing in line besides waiting to pay!?!?

2. If you’re purchasing tickets with someone and the cashier asks how many, they couldn’t give a flying fuck how many people you’re watching the movie/show/concert with. They want to know how many tickets you plan to purchase. Because when they ring up the random number you give them and then you tell them, “um… no, could we pay separately?” they are secretly wanting to stab you in the face.

3. Before asking a question that your cashier friend (CF from now on) has heard 735 times before, look in the immediate vacinity. There is a 99% chance your question is answered in sign form for the exact purpose of preserving our sanity.

4. If you have a coupon, discount card, student ID or something that gives you money off your purchase, give it to your CF before they ring you up. Thank you.

5. You know when you cutely argue with your friend or significant other about who’s going to pay? It’s actually not cute and you’re putting your CF in an akward position, especially (oh-my-God-I-hate-this-so-much) when you both shove money in their face and ask him/her to choose.

6. Please remember this: we don’t make the rules. This is something that gets me every time – whether you’re a waiter or flipping burgers or selling clothes – the person behind the counter is the voice of their boss and not your punching bag. If you have a problem, ask for the manager and please stop yelling at me.

7. We are also not a bank. If the store has just opened and you’re buying a pair of socks with a $100 bill, I’m sorry, I either don’t have change or am going to give you $98 in ones. You’re fault = not my problem.

8. Tell your CF what you want. Buying tickets? Don’t just stand there like a complete douche waiting for them to read your mind. Buying something? Put it on the counter; we honestly can’t see through solid objects. Promise.

{ 21 comments }

What I’ve Learned About Writing For Other People

by Marian Schembari on February 3, 2010

The past month or so has been interesting for my writing career. I’ve stopped just writing for myself because the occasional person has offered to exchange my writing for the green stuff. Which is weird. But awesome. Weird because ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a writer. I kept a little writer’s notebook (courtesy of the greatest inspirational book for any young writer), pretended to be Harriet the Spy and kind of wished I could be my dad. Weird because now I’m doing it. Years and a hundred mind changes later and I can officially call myself a writer. Which is where the awesome part comes in.

Except lately I’m been staring at a blank screen trying to find the perfect word. I agonize over every sentence and read things over and over again until the words start sounding weird. (You totally know when that happens. When you say a word a million times and it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore?) And I think to myself: why is this happening? I’ve never had writers block. Writing has always been easier for me than talking. Than anything, really. After about an hour of this yesterday I just decided to write like I thought. Cuss words, “like” and “totally” peppered throughout. A little aggressive. And the strangest thing happened – everything started flowing again.

Some of my now paid writing is a little more professional then the occasional “shit” and “totally” so I went back and removed them from my press release/article/thesis/etc. Doing that didn’t change my voice though, and I keep forgetting why these people hired me. My parents and various other older professionals tell me to watch what I put on the blog. That bringing up my day job or any other such inappropriate nonsense could jeopardize future work. Which is totally possible. But I feel like now I can afford to only take jobs from people who actually get who I am and how I write. I understand the need to tailor your writing to each client but I’ve also learned it’s much easier to put yourself into the words first and edit later.

{ 8 comments }

A follow-up to my DBW post and the unavoidable/subsequent backlash

by Marian Schembari on February 1, 2010

A few days ago I wrote a post for the DBW blog, “A Gen Y Reaction to Macmillan’s Piracy Plan“. I obviously can’t condone piracy. But I can’t pretend that it’s not tempting and, in the words of one commenter, “tells you what your (potential) customers want.” Reaction was surprisingly around 50/50. Many (older) people felt that I was praising thieves and questioned how I would feel if people just expected me to work for free. Um… internships anyone?

However, I have a plea: pretty please will you people stop fighting change? This gets me every time. How do people not see this already? It’s not just publishing, it’s the world. As humans we hate change. Fine. I get it. But just because we don’t like something doesn’t stop it from happening. What, are you five? Covering your eyes doesn’t mean you’re invisible, kid. I wrote this comment in response to the HarperStudio blog where Debbie Stier Tumbled my post:

“Napack’s plan is like abstinence only education. Making condoms inaccessible doesn’t mean people are going to stop having sex. They’re just going to do it secretly and unsafely. It’s the same with pirates: just because we make it hard for them doesn’t mean they’ll stop. They’ll just find a way around it – a way that might be the less safe, less desirable route.”

There you go, food for thought my friends. Just don’t shoot me.

{ 7 comments }

A really genius marketing plan by my girl crushes

by Marian Schembari on February 1, 2010

This isn’t related to publishing. Or careers. Or writing. Or the job hunt. This is about genius. Sigh.

A few weeks ago I decided that in order to be taken relatively seriously my blog needed to be a bit more, I don’t know, awesome. To do that I needed money. To get money I needed more clients. To get more clients I needed a better blog. See the problem? Meaning I decided to eff it and contact Shatterboxx, which is owned by Jamie Varon the beauty and brains behind twittershouldhireme.com. Anyway, her roommate and fellow boxxer (hehe, get it? Yeah. It’s Monday.) Nicole got back to me and has been lovely and helpful and we tentatively scheduled my redesign for February. But then drama and paycheck confusion happened and not only am I totally poor again but can’t pay for food never mind a sexy website. Anyhew, Nicole was super understanding and directed me to this post giving away a FREE custom blog design. How do you enter? That’s where the genius comes in:

  • Follow  @shatterboxx on Twitter
  • Tweet about the contest then come back and leave a comment on this post with a link to your tweet(s). Sample tweet: Win a gorgeous custom blog designed by @shatterboxx ladies @jamievaron & @nicoleisbetter. Contest details here: http://bit.ly/9jaRmO
  • Blog about the contest then, again, come back here and leave a comment on this post with a link to your post
  • Sign up for the Shatterboxx Media monthly email newsletter below

I tweeted and now I’m blogging. Not only because I want (which I totally do), but because this is just another awesome example of how social media is the digital age’s word-of-mouth, the best marketing strategy in the history of ever. I can only imagine that the time spent designing the blog for free will be more than made up by the crazy amount of tweets and posts advertising Jamie and her services.

I did something similar where I offered a free 2-hour workshop on using social media to get a job to the first 5 schools  who contacted me. Not only did that fail miserably but not ONE school contacted me. Poop. Maybe it’s my total lack of celebrity or the way I worded it or what. Regardless, I might try again in a bit, but looking at the Shatterboxx giveaway I could have at least tried to advertise more from within my circle of readers and followers. Having people enter rather than just message seems to spread the message a bit more effectively.

Still, fingers crossed! Definitely check out both Nicole and Jamie’s blogs though. I officially have a total girl crush.

{ 17 comments }

Next Entries →