HELL NO I Won’t Censor My Blog

by Marian Schembari on July 15, 2010

Thanks for stopping by! Make sure you sign up for my FREE newsletter. Get free consulting and all sorts of goodies delivered straight to your inbox. (It’ll be awesome.)

You’d think after my blog resulted in 24-hour detainment that I’d take a hard look at my content. I mean, if you’re Gen Y, you’ve heard this a thousand times: “Be careful what you put online. It’s there forever.” Yes. Thank you, Grandma.

Even if you’re not Gen Y though, you’ve heard horror stories of people putting things online and get fired/arrested/murdered in their sleep. A few months ago I came across this post on Lamebook:

My buddy Richie already tore this chick a new one, so I’ll refrain from spewing how UTTERLY STUPID this was. I’m sure the girl knows that already and the lessons are pretty obvious. Keep in mind that Google Alerts means  anything you write about a company will show up in their inbox and if you’re looking for a job, maybe don’t come across as completely unprofessional. Be smart, people.

I’m Still Effing Credible

Occasionally someone tells me to tone down my language because it “undercuts my credibility,” but  I feel like there are so many social media blogs, that’s it’s really a relationship to the blogger, that makes you stand out.

My new buddy and Pajama Job Hunter, John Patten, wrote this post, and while he wrote some AMAZING things about me, this is my (second) favorite bit:

I want to do business with people who have a sense of humor, a fun personality, AND who know their stuff.  You may be ranked #1 in your field, but if you’re as exciting as C-SPAN3, then I’m going to take a peek at the #2 and #3 person to see if there’s a pulse hidden in there among all the Excel spreadsheets.

I 100% agree with John, but also realize that not everyone likes my personality. I bet every day people read something of mine and immediately leave because they’re offended by my language or hate the way I write. But do you know what? That happens to EVERYONE. Every day I click out of blogs because I think they’re boring, redundant, or just don’t grab my attention. Every day we close our browsers because we don’t like something. We can’t please everyone so might as well be ourselves.

More on the Immigration Ordeal

During my detainment drama, a friend said, “This situation you’re in is the perfect example of why you need to pay better attention to what you write. If the immigration officers see you cursing, they might not be so eager to help.”

Really? Really? They’re deporting me because I drop the f-bomb occasionally?

I get where she’s coming from, I really do. So maybe it’s my youth or naivety, but if writing “fuck” acts as fodder for an immigration official to deport me, then, well, FUCK THAT.

Honestly, the effect of swearing is an interesting phenomenon. NPR recently wrote, “Using swear words at the right time can pack an ‘emotional wallop’ that ordinary words just don’t have.” Definitely, but why does doing it mean I’m also suddenly less credible? Why does my language have any bearing on whether or not I’m allowed in a country?

There’s a discussion going on at Brazen Careerist about blog language, and I’ve heard most of their arguments before. Apparently swearing:

  • Proves you have bad vocabulary. If you can only think of “crap” to describe your feelings, then you obviously haven’t mastered the English language.
  • Offends your readers. I’m sure it does, but I’ve got a potty mouth in real life so  I’m just being authentic. Why should I cater to you if you won’t like me in person anyway? Wondering why don’t I stop swearing all together? Come on guys, are you asking me to change my personality? Should we all just act the same because we don’t want to offend someone? Ugh, this argument is boring me now.

Censorship

This post isn’t just about swearing though, it’s about blog censorship in general. I write about my career, my personal life, my travels, my clients, along with general advice where I try to be useful. Together this makes for a blog that has gotten me far: I’ve made new friends, started a solo career, become more outgoing… If I were inauthentic and tried to please everyone I wouldn’t have the readership I do and I love each and every one of you for sticking with me.

My blog serves its purpose. If I were applying for a “real job” I would probably tone it down. If I weren’t trying to get clients I would probably up the ante. But right now my clients are amazingly fun people who have potty mouths themselves and are great to work with. When I meet readers in real life, you know what to expect. I’m passionate about what I do, enthusiastic, a little scrappy, honest as all hell, and will under no circumstances apologize for that. I would happily be appealing in Iceland right now otherwise.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

Newer Comments →
  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/18591297746 Marian Schembari

    {latest post} HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • http://twitter.com/deciduoustree/status/18592544550 Michael Rusk

    RT @marianschembari: {latest post} HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8 <- yes!

  • http://twitter.com/hassanmirza/status/18593145110 Hassan

    Just commented >> @marianschembari {latest post} HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • http://twitter.com/underutoo/status/18594305100 My Underu

    HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog | Marian Schembari http://bit.ly/9KAdmd

  • http://mikeysmuse.wordpress.com/ Michael Rusk

    I like it! I've always liked hiring people with a pulse and sense of humor … otherwise they wouldn't be able to stand me :) Great post Marian!

  • http://twitter.com/kimberlyriggins/status/18595311868 Kimberly Riggins

    RT @marianschembari: {latest post} HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8 That's right-stay true to who you are. Loved this!

  • http://twitter.com/Hassanmirza Hassan

    I agree with you Marian. Sometimes I worry about the stuff I tweet about…and I think twice and sometimes want to go back and edit…but it's important for people to be real online, because that is basically the key to engagement. I relate to what you're saying, your blog made me laugh and therefore you've engaged me…and it's definitely not the end of the world if you happen to offend someone online. Considering all the people you HAVE engaged, if someone is insulted by your language, and decides you're not worth following….f*ck'em. :)

  • http://www.nicholsonsjewellers.co.uk Elaine, Nicholsons Jewellers

    Hi, No, I don't normally swear in public (at least not bad ones!) , but sometimes I feel like swearing at: my computer, Facebook, bad drivers. However, I do like the new way of swearing using acronyms: WTF, FFS, etc.

    Glad you're out and about again.

  • Antonia Harler

    Now I know that your situation isn't funny at all but the way you wrote about it just made me laugh so much. You are incredibly funny and you made more than one fair point in your recent blog posts. (I'm only just catching up! :) I loved meeting you the other day. Keep up the good work and I hope you enjoy London twice as much. Once for yourself and a little bit for me too cos I already miss it loads. :)

  • http://www.carleemallard.com/ Carlee Mallard

    I used to only keep a private blog because I was so worried about what everyone would think about what I ACTUALLY think about and who I am. It wasn't until I gave into the idea of NOT censoring myself, being honest, and and open that I started reaping the rewards of blogging (and yea, all bloggers know that now).

    So when the benefits of being uncensored outweigh the negatives, keep on keeping on!

  • http://twitter.com/devacoach/status/18601487363 Sandi Faviell Amorim

    Just saying what most of us think; go Marian! RT @marianschembari: {latest post} HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • http://twitter.com/cornonthejob/status/18608223658 Rich DeMatteo

    Thanks to @marianschembari for mentioning me in her new post —> http://ow.ly/2bV1c

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    I think we all start out that way – even without a private blog we're the in-between generation. Old enough to worry about the repercussions of being online but young enough to do it anyway. After blogging for a while that way – being careful, private, inauthentic – we very tentatively dip a toe in, testing the waters. The more we do this the more we realize it's much more fun and our blogs are much more successful the open and honest way.

    So happy we both figured this out! (however late it may be)

  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/18609087835 Marian Schembari

    You’ve heard this a thousand times: “Be careful what you put online. It’s there forever.” Yes. Thank you, Grandma… http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • http://johnpatten.net John Patten

    Ha! Marian Schembari quotes me in her blog post. Today is a GREAT day!

    Here's a viewpoint… in a way, we as bloggers are entertainers. We need to borrow some style from performers. We need to be funny, dramatic, or provocative enough to get people reading. Imagine if the studios told Leonardo DiCaprio that he had to say “frak” instead of the f-bomb in movies. (oops… just gave away my sci-fi geekiness there). We would all find that incredibly lame, wouldn't we?

    We pay for movies BECAUSE they allow characters to express themselves. Nobody says, “Jeez, Bob, can't wait for that new Nicolas Cage movie where everybody stands around having polite conversation.” I want the people I read to be the same as real people I know… with their real struggles, emotions, and observations. All my friends swear. So if you swear in your blog, you're just like my friends.

    Hmmm… this is turning into a post for my own blog…. gotta go… thanks for the mention!

  • Pipeno

    RT @marianschembari: You’ve heard this a thousand times: “Be careful what you put online. It’s there forever.” Yes. Thank you, Grandma… http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • http://twitter.com/rebeccaisquith/status/18610367846 Rebecca Isquith

    haha the "lamebook" post is too much! RT @marianschembari: “Be careful what you put online. It’s there forever.” http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • John Patten

    Hell no… she will NOT censor her blog. Good for her. http://ow.ly/2bWVd

  • http://twitter.com/colleenlindsay Colleen Lindsay

    I approve of potty mouths.

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Oh Colleen, I approve of YOU.

  • http://www.cornonthejob.com Rich DeMatteo

    Fuck this……. ;)

    Ok….couldn't resist. Your detainment drama seems like total bullshit. If they would actually stop you from entering because of an F- bomb, then the world has bigger problems than we know.

    I actually do censor myself a bit, and I try not to curse too much. That might be because I have family that reads, or maybe it's because I have the fear of god in me, or maybe that's because I think saying Mother Funner is funnier than saying Mother Fucker. I don't know, but that's how I am in real life too. I can curse, but I don't make excuses to do so, although I do curse often.

    Great read miss!

  • dianeshipley

    Bravo to you for being authentic. It isn't easy to be yourself online, but I've found the blog posts when I'm most myself are the ones people most relate to. Some of the most successful bloggers out there are the most inappropriate, poop-mentioning swearers (yep, I'm looking at you, Dooce) and still get to work with established companies. In part I think that's 'cos those companies know what they're getting.
    If you were just posting rambling screeds of curse words, that would be different, but you use them in context and in moderation (mostly).

  • Janet W

    The way you put it — that for your job situation and the people you want to work with & who want to work with you — censoring yourself would probably be counterproductive. I remember a tweet you wrote months ago: you were so f'ing mad at a person who dredged your brain for great SM ideas and then didn't even have the courtesy to say thanks. FFS! At the time I wondered if it was too k'vetchy and frank but now I hope said leech got an earful (a tweet*ful?).

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Haha, thanks Janet. I wish I could say they did, but…. who knows. Anyway, I really appreciate your comment and think it just goes to show that it 100% depends on the person, what they want to accomplish with their blog, and their very unique personality. What works for me may not work for others and that's okay!

  • Jenn

    What a terrible welcome to London! And don't censor yourself – it makes you more real. Enjoy the hell out of your next six months here.

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Haha, yeah, my family reads my blog (hi mom!) and I definitely watch what I say because of that. I know a blogger who talks about sex a lot and I never EVER EVER could do that because that's just not me. But it's totally HER. Capiche?

    Anyway, I appreciate the comment dude. And I know I owe you an email, I'm getting to it ;-)

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Thanks Diane! No, it definitely isn't easy, but it IS strangely liberating once you get going. I still do feel a little ill when someone writes something nasty, but I also know the people that are nice here make great friends :) Hopefully someday you and I will meet :)

    Here's to us all being authentic!

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Dude, you are so full of brain knowledge it's ridiculous. Bloggers definitely are entertainers in one way or another. We all blog for a variety of reasons, but at the end of the day it comes down to who is the most interesting. Am I more interesting by cursing? No, probably not. Are there other words that may bring my point across better? Yeah, probably. But I do write like I speak, making it easier for me and more “authentic” for readers.

    I love your thoughts, bro! Keep 'em coming :)

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Hey man, I aim to please. The detainment definitely wasn't funny, but it does make for great ice breakers,conversation starters and infinite blog topics ;-)

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Hey man, I aim to please. The detainment definitely wasn't funny, but it does make for great ice breakers,conversation starters and infinite blog topics ;-)

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Elaine, technology makes me swear like a sailor even more than I already do! Ugh, especially Twitter when it's down, definitely WordPress and 100% my laptop ;-) That's probably why I'm such a potty mouth on my blog – it's all technology based!

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Elaine, technology makes me swear like a sailor even more than I already do! Ugh, especially Twitter when it's down, definitely WordPress and 100% my laptop ;-) That's probably why I'm such a potty mouth on my blog – it's all technology based!

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    So glad I engaged you! Mission. Accomplished.

    And yeah, I figure the people that do stay and read and those of you who come back are the people I want to KEEP engaging.

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    So glad I engaged you! Mission. Accomplished.

    And yeah, I figure the people that do stay and read and those of you who come back are the people I want to KEEP engaging.

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Yes! That's exactly my point Michael, THANK YOU. If you're going to stand me in real-life, might as well start preparing you for my personality here on my blog ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/alexisgrant Alexis Grant

    Eh, I kinda disagree with you on this one! (First time ever?)

    I think it's so important to have a personality, and you really let your personality shine through on this blog. That's part of the reason I like you.

    But I also think it's possible to have a personality without swearing, and since that has the potential to offend readers (aka potential clients), I steer away from it. I love how you call yourself a social media thug, but does your blog really need swearing to do as well as it does? Nah.

    But hell, I'm just one person. And no, I don't count “hell” as swearing :)

  • http://lifeforward.onsugar.com/ Shayna

    Language is an interesting topic because words really do matter — For myself I like to be as precise as possible – and I do feel that using some expletives are cop-outs — “shit” instead of “the work I signed up to do” for example… Cursing someone out because you're mad is just a waste of everyone's time. The most ridiculous word debate though is the term 'mommy blogger' – women who call themselves 'mommy bloggers' don't understand why the rest of the world think that all they talk about is how cute their kids are, but if you're going to use a name like 'mommy' to describe yourself – a term usually used by toddlers to address their parents, I think the ansewr is self-evident… anyway, some self-censoring is never a bad plan -but having a personality is also important, otherwise what's the point of reading what you write?

  • Defactopublishing

    Je ne censor pas. The less I censor, the more my writing reflects the gut reaction I originally had to whatever it was I wanted to write about, instead of a watered-down version of something less likely to offend my future employers/friends/mom/boyfriend/mailman whatever.

  • http://carolinebookbinder.blogspot.com/ Carin S.

    you know, at my job in New York (not true of my current one so much) I used to say, if everyone likes me, I'm not doing my job right. Some people pleasers are not only obsessed with having everyone like them, but they want everyone to like everyone, although that often means appealing to the LCD and theefore making everyuthing dumbed down, generic, and inauthentic. While I am very careful on my blog and in my social networking world to keep things PG-rated (even though I swear like a sailor at home), I agree with you completely and I am glad you are being true to yourself. Is it limiting? Perhaps. But you're not trying to get every customer in the world. The client that is right for you will not be offended. In fact, it's like a very cheap and easy screening process!

  • http://twitter.com/cassie_wallace Cassie Wallace

    Shayna's got it. I love your blog – keep it coming!

    I'd much rather read social media info from a “Marian” or a whoEVER than just some faceless, bland corporate-like social media blogger!

    The whole point of social is transparency and authenticity. =)

    And for the record, all of my clients swear.

  • http://twitter.com/cassie_wallace Cassie Wallace

    Shayna's got it. I love your blog – keep it coming!

    I'd much rather read social media info from a “Marian” or a whoEVER than just some faceless, bland corporate-like social media blogger!

    The whole point of social is transparency and authenticity. =)

    And for the record, all of my clients swear.

  • http://twitter.com/aleaskwara/status/18628141623 Alea Skwara

    Great blog: post on the power, danger, and controversy of social media and on being true to yourself http://bit.ly/d7hijF

  • dianeshipley

    It's true, I've met the nicest people online, and people who really seem to “get” what I'm saying. And yes, it would be lovely to meet you one day :)

  • Siany

    Don't censor you! No one should ever censor themselves! Especially not you, lady. You say more stuff instead.

    That said, I do sometimes censor myself when it comes to swearing (well, online at least). I've realised that the posts where I swear a lot are often rants, rather than well thought out pieces. Obviously, I don't think that's the case with you, I don't think you swear all that much. But I know I need to watch it. I wrote a post I should have been proud of about a product called “Skinny Water”. It was just ranty and full of swearing and it didn't make me look good – had I waited an hour before writing, it would have had less swearing and more thought. So I censor myself, breathe, have a bit of a think. Most of the time, when I've done that, half of my swearing goes.

    But there's still a time when only saying FUCK will do. I guess I've realised that for me it's more effective if I don't say it every other sentence :-)

  • Marian Schembari

    Some *serious* discussion going on in the comments section of my latest post: HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • http://twitter.com/cornonthejob/status/18632377364 Rich DeMatteo

    RT @marianschembari: *serious* discussion going on in comments section of latest post: HELL NO I Won't Censor My Blog http://bit.ly/dpG9V8

  • Siany

    I think your last point is an interesting, Alexis – some people have different boundaries when it comes to swearing. Even some countries. Marian calling her friends “bitch” in NYC might be fine, but that won't fly over here in London (not unless you know there person pretty well, anyway). I'd be fine with it, but others won't. One person's language might offend one person but not another – and that's when you're censoring yourself to suit everyone else. There's no way you can know where to draw the line.

    With everything you write there's a danger of offending someone. The difference is when you're using a strong word for effect, rather than to be gratuitous. I don't think Marian crosses that line, but I am curious to see how much Marian's language changes whilst she's on this side of the pond…

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Shayna, I am SO your biggest fan – I love every point in your comment(I especially love what you say about mommy bloggers). I spent my entire senior year writing a thesis on the definition of the word “feminist” and how important even the simplest word can be and how we define things is – ultimately – determines how we define ourselves. The thing is, we so often forget this. Myself included!

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Thanks sugar pie!

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Of course it's possible to have a personality without swearing! My personality ISN'T my potty mouth, but my potty mouth is an aspect of my personality. What I'm saying is that I don't really feel like changing my language because I'm nervous about offending anyone. I attract a certain kind of client and I'm more than okay with that.

Newer Comments →

Previous post:

Next post: