A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian

by Marian Schembari on October 28, 2010

I’m not really known for my kind spirit or gentle soul, but my list of grievances is a mile long today and my boyfriend is sick of hearing me bitch. So I’m offering up this lovely gem of a post for you all to put in your pipe and smoke. Most of you dear readers are NOT at fault, but you might find my brains splattered on my lovely new laptop if I don’t get some of this off my chest.

The blogging world is an awesome place that has actually changed the course of my life. For reals. But it’s also a place full of people who try too hard, people who “help” but are really just puffing out their chests to feel smart and people who steal your crap and think it’s okay. It’s not okay, actually.

Other things that are not okay and I’d  appreciate, you know, not happening

People who don’t give credit on Twitter. I realize that my last post was about people using the retweet button, but it was  aimed at tweeps who want to ensure the original tweeter knows they’ve been mentioned. But better to use the retweet button than not mention a username at all. If you hit “retweet” on this post you would have to actively remove my Twitter handle, and people for some reason do that! That’s practically like saying it’s your own. That is not okay.

Copycats. I realize imitation is the highest form of flattery, but I work really hard on my posts. Please don’t steal my ideas, my exact words even and expect to get away with it. I will hunt you down. Or bitch you out big time in the safety of my head until I explode and write a really ambiguous and moderately passive aggressive post about it so everyone else wonders who copied me and you start feeling really uncomfortable about it. Don’t worry, your really lame secret is safe with me.

People who don’t read a post or tweet before commenting. There’s really not much left to explain. Just remember that I know how my jobs works and you telling me a Twitter fact like you’re God’s gift to the internet and “oh-my-God-I-just-educated-a-social-media-consultant…. burn!” just makes you look dumb and me feel frustrated. Yeah, I do know how Twitter works. Thank you. I also read most major publishing and social media websites. Meaning yes, I did read that article on Mashable. And yes, I do know what TweetDeck is, thank you. Now, my boyfriend says these people are just trying to help. I’m sure he’s right. And if you’re one of those people PLEASE don’t take offense, but also understand why I might take offense that you think I have no idea how to run my business. I may be casual here, but I’m also ridiculously good at what I do and spend an even more ridiculous amount of time keeping up-to-date on EVERYTHING.

People telling me I should offer some sort of “beginners guide.” Okay, it’s not actually the people that bother me (you know who you are – we had an email chat about this – please know I still love you). The thing that drives me crazy pants is the idea that to be a “successful” social media blog I need to offer some kind of regurgitated bullshit that’s been said 1,000 times. I really don’t want to explain how Twitter works. I don’t want to give basic tips. My site gives you personal stories, little-known facts and creative ideas. It’s not a beginners site. If you want step-by-step lessons, here are some amazing resources:

(This said, there are a few “intro” guides I’m working on that hopefully will be more than the basics, as more than one reader has asked for the same specific thing. I do realize it’s not all about me and I do actually care what you need/want. I just can’t comply all the time because it would do my head in. If there’s a basic question or general tutorial you want – just Google it.)

Generic LinkedIn invitations. OH. MY. GOD. Please. Stop. Just… stop. I’m obsessed with LinkedIn – I connect with everyone. I even wrote a post on Men with Pens about why you should connect with everyone, but unless we’ve met (online or off), don’t just send an invitation with no back story. Remind me how I know you. If I don’t know you, tell me why we should connect. A shared group isn’t enough, because then it just looks like you’re trying to up your numbers and that’s pathetic.

Anyone who’s not my friend or an old client emailing to “pick my brain.” I’m a consultant by trade. You want social media advice? Pay up.

Trolls. So you feel perfectly okay calling me stupid on Twitter, but when I ask you to be nice or take the conversation to email you disappear? I love social media but sometimes people are cowards.

Potential clients who get in touch, then vanish. Dear everyone in the world: Don’t ever ask for a breakdown of someone’s services, an outline of how they can help, their rates rates/availability and then never respond, not even to say “Thanks, but no thanks.” It’s rude.

Phew! Alright, I’m done. For now. Sorry for the bitchfest, but I’m tired of the whole “same shit different day” thing. It’s wearing me out.

{Photo credit}

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  • Anonymous

    *applause*

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      *bows* Thank you, thank you…

  • Kimberly

    Love rants. Love your ranting. Glad you got it off your chest. People need to understand the value in what you do and I think this helps them get one step closer to that.

  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/28971100502 Marian Schembari

    {latest post} A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://twitter.com/MarianSchembari/status/28971100502 Julie Mellors

    RT @MarianSchembari: {latest post} A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://gopopgo.wordpress.com/ Pop

    Thanks for the links! Even when you’re ranting, you’re helpful!

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Haha, thanks Pop! I aim to please ;-)

  • http://www.jargonwriter.com Melissa Breau

    You totally could have called this post “how not to be a f*ck up”

    I’m Sorry that your awesomeness doesn’t exempt you from dealing with jerkoffs… hopefully @Avi is wrong and at least ONE person who was like … hmm let me copy and steal her posts … will decide not to copy and steal THIS one. Unfortunately, it seems to be a sign of success (the bloggess put up a pretty rant about it a while back too) …

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Haha, I totally should have done ;-)

      I wish a simple post could solve my jerkoff problems, but I think it’s much more difficult than that. People actually think they’re being helpful or don’t “realize” they’re stealing my ideas/copy/whatever. I don’t know, bitching makes me feel lots better about it, so I guess there’s that.

  • http://www.cornonthejob.com Rich DeMatteo

    That must have felt good bud. Keep at it. You’re a work horse, and I look up to you big time.
    Not sure you knew that till now, but you’re work ethic and brains are ready to make 2011 a huge year.

    Don’t stop…get it…get it

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Awww, thanks Rich, that means a lot!

  • http://www.bloggingfor.info/ Thu Nguyen

    Hi Marian,

    How you doing? :) Well, you could have named this 8 things that has to stop! But then again, I love your rants. They have sense to them and hey, I was about to hit the tweet button until I saw that point. Hehe, well, I’ll do that after.

    You have a wonderful day now!
    Thu

  • http://twitter.com/thublogger/status/28973262390 Thu Nguyen

    RT @marianschembari: A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://twitter.com/turnerink/status/28973870563 Sarah Turner

    Yuk. Trolls. What's with them? Be nice! RT @MarianSchembari: {latest post} A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://butterknife-marketing.com/ Avi Kaye

    (I wasn’t really sure whether to comment, but, you know, what the @#$%. )

    You do know that this ranting doesn’t actually do any good, other than possibly venting (tons, by the sound of it :)) frustration? I mean, no one who is actively doing anything on the list will stop – they don’t want to change their ways, or they think that’s how they’ll increase their own reputation, or they simply don’t understand what’s wrong.

    Removing your Twitter username? Hey, it’s just taking up some space on my 140 char post. LinkedIn connects? What, surely she remembers me, I was commenter 138 on her blog post about Twitter. And so on :)

    The main point I was coming with, I think, is that don’t get frustrated and worn out – there’s no point in it. Getting worn down? Kick back for a day, grab a nothing-to-do-with-work book (I’m re-reading Terry Pratchett’s Soul Music myself :)) and grab a beer. I know that it’s easier said than done, but hey. My 2c.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      While I totally agree that NONE of the people will actually stop, you’re wrong in this not doing any good. Making me feel better? Worth it. I deal with this shit day in and day out and putting it out into the universe, while not solving my problems, does in fact lift a huge weight off my shoulders.

      • http://butterknife-marketing.com/ Avi Kaye

        I meant that it won’t change other people’s behaviour. If it makes you feel better, rant away :). I was just pointing out another way to deal with the problems.

        I’ll stop now :)

        • http://www.domesticsluttery.com Siany

          Yes they will! I’ll stop leaving stupid lazy comments and being a general pain in the ass :-)

        • http://www.3hatscommunications.com davinabrewer

          I totally get what you’re saying and agree, the only thing I can control is my own behavior. True that.. and yet, I have ranted these myself many, many times. Not only does it make me feel better (along with a nice glass of wine), it shows readers (potential clients, trolls, copycats) who I am and what I’m about should they take the time to actually bother. And if they someone still exhibits these crappy behaviors, it shows me they haven’t bothered to give me the time. FWIW.

  • http://twitter.com/ManOfLaBook Zohar Laor

    Great post and I’m glad you probably feel better now that it’s off your shoulders.

    Here is a little mantra I learned many moons ago to deal with the BS you mentioned above and more which I encounter almost on a daily base.

    Ready, everyone… “it’s not personal, it’s not personal, it’s not personal”.

    Believe me, it helps :)

    http://www.ManOfLaBook.com

  • http://www.domesticsluttery.com Siany

    I’m really sorry i didn’t watch your video before commenting on your last post. That was rubbishy of me. Sometimes I’m not very good at commenting helpfully. Feel free to ignore my rubbishy comments, you really should. I’m crap sometimes, and say things off the cuff. I should always put thought into my comments, but tend to do it before I forget – I never remember a bookmarked blog post until three dies later when the whole conversation has died down.

    Still, not your fault I can always organise my thoughts properly.

    xx

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      LOL. Awwww, sooo sweet of you to apologize, but no fucking way I’d bitch out a friend in a post! That would be lame. No, there were multiple people this week who tweeted @me about the retweet button and tab to find them and obviously didn’t even read the post where I EXPLICITLY SAID I KNEW ABOUT THE TAB (and I only included that *after* you commented, because I realized a lot of people wouldn’t watch the video). Silly girl.

      • http://www.domesticsluttery.com Siany

        Still, was uncool of me :-)

  • http://twitter.com/janetnorcal/status/28984541673 Janet Webb

    Fabo post: wish you could slap web equivalent of Scarlet Letter on a few backs! RT @MarianSchembari A Little Ranty Rant http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://twitter.com/lindsey_donner Lindsey M. Donner

    I agree with you, especially about the free consultations/clients who disappear points. Those are tough when you devote so much of your time to finding and booking clients. I am very, very, VERYVERYVERY familiar with this phenomenon in my business, and it’s frustrating.

    Because when I meet with my partner to talk about what’s on our plate, I always have to say things like, “Well, remember that girl? Who I sent that 10 PAGE PROPOSAL TO? I haven’t heard back yet. Maybe she’s on vacation! I’m sure no one would expect me to write a 10 page proposal and not even have the decency to drop me an email to say she found a different, cheaper way of getting what she wants!”

    Glaargle.

    Regarding Twitter and copycats… well, the first, I think people may not do that on purpose. I mean, when someone clicks, they find out it’s your blog, right? I sure hope so. But the copycat thing? That’s really tough. And really BS.

  • http://twitter.com/InkyClean Natalia M. Sylvester

    Oh my god, you are so right about potential clients who get in touch, then vanish. Here’s why it gets to me so much:
    1. Projects vary so much in scope and needs that I really do spend a good amount of time quoting someone and trying to come up with a plan of attack that’s customized to their needs

    2. I wouldn’t spend that much time quoting someone if I wasn’t actually excited about the project and excited about working with said potential client (yes, I do turn people down, as we all should, if they’re not a good fit). Some of the best business advice I’ve heard is that when you find people who are as passionate about what you’re doing as you are, hold on to them. And it doesn’t even have to mean that you hire me; just stay in touch. Have the courtesy to say, “Hey, this doesn’t work with my budget/needs.” I always keep these people in mind; I’ve sent referrals their way, reporters their way. Just because we’re not exchanging money doesn’t mean we can’t have some sort of relationship.

    3. And finally: I’m a reasonable person. I’ve had clients get back to me after I’ve quoted them saying that the quote was a bit too high for them. I’ve always been happy to readjust the project scope to fit their budget if it’s possible, and if it would still meet both our needs. But the clients who get my quote and just never hear back? They’re missing out.

  • http://www.3hatscommunications.com davinabrewer

    Marian, Love this. I’ve posted about why I’m not LinkedIn with everyone’s random invite, the stupid linking to anything on Mashable as if it was your own and I hadn’t already seen in it 20 times, the automated RTs of dead links, the brain pickers and I’ve sent quite a few LMGTFY links in my day. On copycats, stealing and taking credit is total bullshit.. but what about expanding on something, with credit? I’ve done that, had one blog post inspire me to write something different of my own. I include quotes, attributions and link backs, give credit where do. Anyway loved the bitchfest.

  • http://twitter.com/ridgelyjohnson ridgely johnson

    Thanks for the smile- made my Thursday-

  • http://twitter.com/ridgelyjohnson ridgely johnson

    Thanks for the smile- Nothing better on a Thursday afternoon, it is Thursday, isn’t it?

  • Thomasmcmillanjr

    Stay classy Marian….You’re kind of a big deal.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      LOL. That’s why I totally love you ;-)

  • http://www.copyblogger.com Brian Clark

    >>But better to use the retweet button than not mention a username at all.

    Are you sure about that?

    I don’t use retweet buttons at all. If I read an interesting piece of content and want to share it, I copy and paste the headline (sometimes I even rewrite the headline). Then I make a bit.ly link (so I can monitor the number of clicks) and tweet it.

    Why do I do this?

    Because time and again it’s been demonstrated (by data) that my method drives more traffic to the author’s site than with a RT @author approach. And I thought the idea was traffic to your content, not to count the number of mentions on Twitter?

    I personally have never made a dime from being mentioned on Twitter. I’ve made a few dimes by introducing people to Copyblogger content, getting them to subscribe, and then introducing them to your products and services.

    Just something to think about from the business angle. Vanity can be a powerful motivator, but it shouldn’t be your primary driver.

    • http://www.copyblogger.com Brian Clark

      Just to clarify, when I come across a link on Twitter, I give attribution to whomever tweeted it. When I come across content on my own (my preferred method) I just tweet the headline. It just works better.

      • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

        Verrrry interesting, Brian. I’m going to disagree with you, but only because it’s how *I* like to work. I haven’t “made a dime off being mentioned on Twitter” either, but I HAVE snagged a few clients who have found me through a retweet. Maybe that makes me vain, but I’d prefer someone mention my Twitter handle and give credit where it’s due. That said, I think it’s incredibly interesting that excluding a username drives more traffic. And sure, traffic over ego any day.

        I’d be interested to see if tweets were clicked more frequently if they were written “via @username” at the END of the tweet (after the headline) than “RT @username” at the beginning. Any data on that? I can understand why not writing a handle at the beginning would drive more traffic. It does look messy.

        This all said, I will never send out a tweet without mentioning the person’s Twitter handle. If I click the retweet button on a post and the handle isn’t there, I will actively hunt it down to add it. This is because I want them to see I’ve mentioned them, I want to give them credit and if I think their post is good enough to retweet, I want my followers to see their Twitter handle and follow them. Sure, I could look at it from a business angle, but it’s not all about traffic all the time for me. Sometimes I’d prefer to just be nice. That’s how social media works for me. And it may not be how it works for you.

        Aaaand, now I sound like an asshole. Not my intention. I really appreciate you stopping by, but we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that one.

        • http://www.copyblogger.com Brian Clark

          Via at the end does work better. Leading with the actual headline/title catches attention better than RT up front.

          But when I’m out cruising for content to share with my people (outside of Twitter), I often have no idea what the author’s Twitter handle is. And my method of grabbing the headline and clicking the bit.ly toolbar link generator is much faster than hunting for a Retweet button. Not to sound like an asshole either, but people love it when I tweet their content. ;)

          Keep up the good work… I really like reading your writing. Even when you present personal preference as fact. ;)

    • http://www.sweeneysays.com Nicole

      This is interesting. I wonder if part of that traffic difference actually comes from the way in which the source is perceived by your followers? (Which might be kind of related to what Marian is saying in her rant.) If it comes across as YOU advocating on behalf of a particular link, people who follow YOU and care about your contributions to the twitterverse may be more inclined to check out a link than if you are merely perceived as “seconding” it from some other source that they don’t actually care about.

  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/29010085720 Marian Schembari

    Today's post was just one giant bitchfest: http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://twitter.com/briannevillano/status/29010664356 Brianne E Villano

    RT @mehnazt: I love a good bitchfest RT @MarianSchembari Today's post was just one giant bitchfest: http://bit.ly/a381dA <- Me too!

  • Anonymous

    I generally will retweet but make the headline more compelling, myself. So many people write great content but fail to get people interested enough to actually open their blog.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Oh, absolutely agree!

  • http://twitter.com/3hatscomm/status/29012841551 Davina Brewer @3hats

    Made of win, I must say. RT @MarianSchembari: Today's post was just one giant bitchfest: http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://twitter.com/MarianSchembari/status/29010085720 ridgely johnson

    RT @MarianSchembari: Today's post was just one giant bitchfest: http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://twitter.com/pushingsocial/status/29020021458 Stanford Smith

    Check yourself before you wreck yourself! > RT @marianschembari: A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://ticktocktimer.com Bamboo Forest

    Good post. I like that you speak your mind about the blogosphere. Just started following your blog but enjoy the subjects you cover and your take on things. I’ve put this blog into my ‘must read’ section of my reader. Let’s just say you’ve been knighted.

    Funny you say you keep up on EVERYTHING. That’s gotta be time consuming. I always wonder how much time bloggers put into reading other blogs. I think for many it’s actually in the arena of hours. Personally, I try to be extremely picky to what blogs I read. I want them to educate me by the knowledge they share and also teach me how to write better (by reading their writing).

    But as a blogger I think it’s important to follow a few key blogs. For example, I read every ZenHabits post because I want to learn what it is he does to make his writing so loved by so many.

    Looking forward to seeing how deep this rabbit hole goes.

  • http://mycustardpie.com/ Sally2hats

    Your honesty and refreshing style means that a) I always read your posts right to the end b) I quite often read all the comments (the reaction to this post has been as enlightening as the rant!) and c) I feel compelled to comment. I can’t give you a scientific, data-analysed reason why (like Brian Clark) but this is very rare for me on anything that isn’t a food blog. You’re a mistress of engagement! Don’t get bogged down and keep doing what you are doing, I’d say.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Just so you know, Sally, this comment was the inspiration for my latest post about ignoring what everyone says and just doing your own thing. So thank you for that :)

  • http://twitter.com/Yakezie The Yakezie

    I seldom ever see guys rant on their blogs, so it’s fun to visit here and hear what’s up.

  • Pingback: I am not a friend whore. I never will be. So stop adding me on Facebook. | Social Glitz

  • Anonymous

    Hey Marian,

    I completely agree with you about copycats and people you don’t know who try to friend you on social media networks. At the moment, I’m not an active LinkedIn member (though I know I should probably create an account – I will do so eventually), but I have a thing where I won’t friend anyone on Facebook if I don’t know the person personally. It’s just something I don’t do. You can be a fan of my Facebook page, but I like to have my friends list full of people that mean something to me personally, and not just thousands of Facebook friends who are just there to satisfy my ego.

    The former ESPECIALLY gets me boiling. One time I had an article copied by FIVE different sources. I ended up emailing all five sources and telling them that they were violating copyright. For the companies that didn’t respond, I had to send a message to their hosting providers in hopes that they would take it down.

    After several weeks, I finally got it all taken care of, and all five posts were withdrawn. But it seriously pisses me off when people think it’s OK to copy your content, ESPECIALLY when they don’t even credit you.

    Christina

  • http://twitter.com/MarianSchembari/status/28971100502 Kay Pearce

    RT @MarianSchembari: {latest post} A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian http://bit.ly/a381dA

  • http://www.sweeneysays.com Nicole

    When I first started using Twitter, sometimes I would remove the RT @you from tweet this buttons like the one on your site. At the time, I just didn’t understand why it was saying that I was “retweeting” something, when I may not have ever looked at your Twitter account to get to the page. Now that I get the significance of all the @reply nonsense (and I’m just lazy) I don’t do that. However, I don’t quite follow the logic that removing the @reply is akin to claiming the work as your own. If I tweet something that reads:
    “A Little Ranty Rant from Marian Librarian” – http://tinyurl
    How does this imply that I have created the content? I know that this is your venting post and so I’m throwing myself in the line of fire by asking this question, but I’m just not sure I’m following you on that.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      You’re right – it’s not REALLY like claiming it as your own. I was just bitching because when *I* post a link to my own blog I don’t write “RT @” I just tweet the name of the post and the link. So when someone does that to MY post it irks me because I think you should give credit where it’s due.

      That said, Brian made some really good points below. I’m not fully convinced it’s appropriate to not include someone’s handle in a tweet, but if it drives more traffic to my blog, then I guess I should stop moaning.

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