8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio

by Marian Schembari on January 6, 2011

Because of time constraints and the rash of horrible Twitter profiles lately, I’ve taken to only clicking on someone’s username if their bio looks interesting. While I may have already bitched about the eight reasons no one’s following you on Twitter, I want to take a deeper look into the specifics of The Bio.

8 Bio Mistakes to Avoid Like the Plague

1. “Mom of 3, Granny of 7, Wife of 1.”

If I had a nickle for every time I saw some version of this in a bio, well, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. Unless you’re a mommy blogger, we couldn’t care less. While I’m sure your kids are supremely awesome, if you’re using Twitter for professional reasons, you’ve basically told us the reason we should follow you isn’t for your work, but your family.

2. “Lover of Jesus Christ.”

I hesitate to mention this, but it’s the truth: Unless you’re a minister or religious blogger, shouting about your love of God and prayers to the Lord is going to do one thing: Alienate those who don’t share your beliefs.

3. “I love poodles, am an antique doorknob collector, like to play with fire, have read 27 books today and my room is entirely pink.”

To be honest, I’ve seen a few profiles that list irrelevant facts like this that I actually like. However, if you’re hoping to build a network in your field or want to generate blog traffic, no one cares about your antique doorknob collection. Unless, of course, you’re crushing it via your blog about antique doorknobs.

4. “I want to share my marketing ideas with YOU!”

Anything about making us better online and/or social media bullshit ls just lame and completely unoriginal. If you’re a social media guru, awesome, just try to find some fresh language to liven up your profile and make it actually appealing.

5. “Follow me @TylerH, @TylerHardy, @Tyler_Movies and @TylerAndYourMom.”

Listen, if you tweet about horses at @ILovePonies as well as @JaneDoe, by all means, list that handle. If you have another blog, mention it. HOWEVER, I came across a profile today that actually listed 5 different accounts, meaning there was no room to actually tell us who he was. Someone please explain the point of that to me?

6. “I Like To Capitalize Every Letter.”

Folks, Twitter is not a sales letter and if you’re a yoga instructor and a ballerina and a blogger don’t say something stupid like: I Am A Yoga Instructor, Ballerina And Blogger. THESE ARE NOT PROPER NOUNS AND UNLESS THERE ARE PERIODS AFTER EACH WORD PLEASE USE LOWER CASE.

7. “Follow me pweeze!”

Please PLEASE don’t ask people to follow you or say something like, “I just wanna meet people” or “Love developing relationships online!” Vomit. And desperate much?

8.”Life is like a box of chocolates ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥”

Avoid quotes, complete nonsense no one will understand, improper grammar and any sort of image that makes it hard to read the actual content (i.e., hearts/music notes/flags).

2 Things You May Want to Include Instead

1. A discount code or helpful download. See my post about M-Edge and why offering some sort of present to potential followers can help spread your Awesome far and wide.

2. A relatable “irrelevant fact.” If you’re a dietitian, it’s okay to mention that you love cookie dough ice cream. Random facts can be great as they make you a more well rounded tweep, just try not to make your whole profile about said facts. Then you’re just a jumble of words and we can’t differentiate you from all the other millions of folks out there.

Now, I’m considering developing this post into more of a “step-by-step tips to a better Twitter profile” as a sort of “super cheap or free guide slash workbook” to help you guys build or improve your profiles. Raise your hand if you’d be interested!!

Also, up next week: I give you the insider’s tour to what it’s like to work with yours truly. An awesome client has agreed to let me show you the before and after of her Twitter profile! Get pumped.

{Photo credit 1} {Photo credit 2}

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  • http://twitter.com/pala81/status/23278469962014720 Pascal

    RT @jeanlucr: 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW

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    :O RT @jeanlucr 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW

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    8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio — Marian Schembari http://norw.in/wlrc2

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  • http://marketingmy.co.uk/blog/ Katherine Salt

    Right, now running off to check mine and edit, then will come back and raise my hand pretending not to have cheated in class.

  • http://marketingmy.co.uk/blog/ Katherine Salt

    Okay hand now raised. Still have irrelvant information but would quite like to connect to people who have similar interests.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      I like it! You have a good mix of irrelevant and business stuff – I’d definitely keep it! I especially like the bit about questions – definitely encourages people to reach out and connect with you :)

      • http://marketingmy.co.uk/blog/ Katherine Salt

        Thanks Marian :o)

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  • http://twitter.com/RossBrownfoot Ross Brown

    Great tips! I had to look at my own Twitter bio to make sure I wasn’t guilty of the listed no-nos.

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    RT @jeanlucr: 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW

  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/23462981119516672 Marian Schembari

    Yesterday's post is getting some awesome comments and tweets…. Read about why your Twitter bio sucks: http://bit.ly/iaAORj

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    RT @MarianSchembari Take these sentences out of your Twitter bio:
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  • http://twitter.com/jojet/status/23699445057064960 Joel Hughes

    8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW /via @jeanlucr <– some interesting (if contentious!) points

  • http://twitter.com/jeanlucr/status/23274893399298048 Helen S T

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  • http://twitter.com/jojet/status/24076930928082944 Joel Hughes

    8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW /via @jeanlucr <– some interesting (if contentious!) points

  • http://twitter.com/helenddavies/status/24077983438344192 Helen Davies

    RT @Jojet 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW /via @jeanlucr <– some interesting points

  • http://twitter.com/Jojet/status/24076930928082944 Jon Jackson

    RT @Jojet: 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW /via @jeanlucr <– some interesting (if contentiou …

  • KristenEmery

    Oh my, I was dismayed that my profile was guilty of the first flaw listed. Glad I found your blog, and looking forward to the help it will provide as I rework my profile. Thanks for the info!

    • http://twitter.com/KristenEmery Kristen Emery

      Marian,
      a great big thank you! My profile was blank for about ten hours, while I figured out a quick fix. I am raising my hand now – :-)

  • http://twitter.com/Jojet/status/24076930928082944 Anand HS

    RT @Jojet: 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW /via @jeanlucr <– some interesting (if contentiou …

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  • http://twitter.com/alisonjobson/status/24456347575648257 Alison Jobson

    RT @Jojet: 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio http://j.mp/fPMKsW /via @jeanlucr <– I like this

  • http://twitter.com/toluogunlesi/status/24596857392996353 tolu ogunlesi
  • http://twitter.com/russellfaust/status/24606438793936896 Russell Faust

    Blunt, True! RT @MarianSchembari: 8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio – http://bit.ly/iaAORj

  • http://twitter.com/toluogunlesi/status/24596857392996353 muyicom

    RT @toluogunlesi: 8 Sentences to Immed Cut From Your Twitter Bio
    http://marianlibrarian.com/2011/01/06/8-sentences-to-immediately-cut-fr

  • Anandi A. Premlall

    Great tips from NYWSE Marian Schembari! http://lnkd.in/xgA8VU

  • http://twitter.com/Etenkorang Emmanuel Tenkorang

    O Boy, I like no. 7…”Follow me Pleeze”

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