5 Tweets I Never Want to Read

by Marian Schembari on August 20, 2012

Is it just me, or are tweets starting to blend together? Gone are the days of sharing what you had for breakfast, and instead I’m seeing tweet after tweet about checking into Starbucks or the same goodnight message. Like anyone on Twitter gives a crap you’re going beddy bye.

Five things to stop tweeting

Where you’ve checked in on FourSquare. I’m all for knowing where you are (not in a creepy way, promise), especially if it involves a good recommendation or warning. (i.e. I’d murder for a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place in Auckland. Just sayin’.) But I don’t think I can stand reading one more check in at an airport or coffee shop EVERY DAMN DAY.

Your horoscope. I wish this one went without saying, but it doesn’t.

The X Daily. I see so many of you doing it all the time so I’m apologizing in advance for the toes I’m stepping on, but I really don’t get those papers you guys post and I’m sick of getting @mentioned in them. I get how they’re useful to YOU, but why post them on Twitter? They’re hard to read and pretty much irrelevant to anyone but the creator.

“Off to bed, goodnight Twitterverse!” I know people who say goodnight to Twitter…. every night. Like a child. Or a lover. That’s creepy.

Your Facebook posts. Despite what some people may think, all social networks are not created equal. If I wanted to be on Facebook I would be on Facebook.

Now your turn. Go.

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  • http://twitter.com/FriskyLibrarian Jayne

    Hello stranger! I heartily concur with all of these and am relieved that I’m not guilty of any of them.  I used to follow a girl on Twitter who checked in at the service station and the supermarket. For crying out loud. 

    I roll my eyes at tweets about coffee with the hashtag #coffeeaddict. Yeah, you’re so special and unique with your coffee habit. No one else has ever had one of those. 

  • @dbsalk

    Ah, Marian, how I’ve missed your blog posts. I can’t wait to see the comment thread for this one. It should be a good time.

    I’m pleased to see that aside from the occasional Foursquare update bleeding into my Twitter feed, I’m not guilty of any of the above.

    I feel like the Daily paper posts are a substitute for the old #FollowFriday tweets where the entire tweet was a bunch of Twitter handles. Do people still do that? “Hey, look at me, I mentioned you! Be sure to mention me back!” Whatever. Back in the day, I was guilty of that too, but I’ve learned my lesson.

    I saw someone post once that her “Wedding Planner Daily” was out, featuring blah blah blah. I found this interesting, since I knew she wasn’t a wedding planner. Was she recently engaged? No. Does she work in a bridal shop or banquet hall? No. Is she a social media guru/ninja/rockstar? Maybe! :-p I think the only logical conclusion is that she was trolling for retweets.

    There’s someone I follow who tweets “It’s 11:11. #makeawish” just about every day or every night at 11:11. I’m not sure why I follow him; he may end up getting unfollowed. Or maybe I should just go to bed earlier.

    I personally could do without the workout updates from DailyMile and similar apps. Yes, you’re a badass once you lace up your running shoes, and you clearly have plenty of time at your disposal to go on multi-hour runs. I get that. Thank you for making me feel like a fat couch potato.

    Endless exchanges: after two or three at-replies between two people, I think the polite thing to do is switch to DMs, right? (or… gasp! a phone call!) Do we really need to see see the entire conversation play out?

  • http://twitter.com/thenorthernist Rachel G

    Preach. (Also I totally tweeted a pic of that sign when I was in Melbourne and riled up foodie friends. Oops. ;) 

    I’m guilty of the odd 4sq tweet, but I don’t do it now and need to change my settings so the ‘badges’ don’t automatically tweet, because nobody cares.  I’ve gotten *a* good recommendation via someone’s Path check-in, but that’s the exception.

    I’m also tired of people/orgs tweeting links to their content, then RTing people who have RT’d them, then tweeting the same links three days later!  FFS.  If you don’t have any new content, try, I don’t know, actually engaging with your followers?

    And anyone who tweets about their Klout scores needs to do one.

    • @dbsalk

      Every time I see a tweet about Klout, I want to gouge out my eyeballs.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      I don’t mind 4sq if it’s giving me a good recommendation, but I see the same people check into the same places publicly every single day. It’s completely ridiculous and defeats the purpose in my humble opinion.

      And I know what you meana bout companies retweeting people who have retweeted them. I have no words.

  • Emma

    It’s the “like my facebook page” or “I’m so many followers away from so many followers”. Why should anyone like or follow when that’s all you say? Oh & I’m tired of celebrity bikini pictures. We know you look good. Some of us have jobs & can’t workout three times a day.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      YES! How did I miss that one? I see that all the time on Twitter, ‘I’m 499 followers away from 500! Follow me now #teamfollowback.’ Someone shoot me.

  • http://twitter.com/marianschembari/status/237534624891424768 Marian Schembari

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/sfsAcSm4

  • http://twitter.com/corrieaw/status/237544539462721536 Corrie Aw.

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/sfsAcSm4

  • http://twitter.com/emmaburcart/status/237569468178526208 Emma Burcart

    Yes! Exactly! RT @MarianSchembari 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/zfTBnWCx

  • http://www.percolate.co.nz/ Lucy Smith

    That Nike app that tweets how far and how fast you ran. I get it; you’re fit and virtuous and I am not. I’m working on it, okay?

    I unfollowed someone who kept tweeting about their cat, but calling it their ‘son’. No kidding. I love cats, but that was a step too crazy for me.

    People who treat Twitter like their Facebook and tweet all kinds of personal/inappropriate things, like their sex life, toilet training their toddler, and a raft of other things I don’t care about or wish to know. It’s one of the reasons I don’t really follow many ‘personal’ users anymore, just people who actually have something worthwhile to say.

    And finally: I’m just about to unfollow someone who was using a rather silly hashtag about ‘amusing’ things they hear in their line of work. They’d constantly be tweeting boring you-had-to-be-there office conversations using this hashtag, and then one day announced that there was a new account for the hashtag. Great! I thought. Now anyone who’s interested can just follow the account and you can stop inflicting it on the rest of us. Not so. Now they retweet everything from that account.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      I’m right there with ya with that Nike app. Way to make everyone else feel like crap.

      I know a girl who constantly posts cat photos to Facebook, but I have yet to see it on Twitter. Thank GOD for that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/davevandewalle Dave Van de Walle

    Twitter, to me, is becoming more vast a wasteland than it ever was. 

    But my biggest issue – is auto-posting everything on everywhere else. That drives me nuts.

    As for the Nike+ app…well, I use RunKeeper and share my results ONLY on Facebook. Why? I’m trying to have a half-dozen people hold me accountable, and vice versa.

    If you want to start talking about #hashtags, that’s #another subject #altogether.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      I know, I really need to start unfollowing the people who are really annoying the shit out of me. I thought I was already pretty good about only following those who seemed interesting but clearly my judgement is way off.

      And don’t get me started on hashtags! Ugh. Yuck. Vom.

    • @dbsalk

      I think hashtags have their uses if they’re established and used properly. I’ve been having great success keeping up on my industry and finding new people to follow with the #eventprofs, #hotelprofs, and #meetingprofs hashtags. One guy was basically spamming the #eventprofs hashtag for a while, though. He would post a tweet that had nothing to do with events and add the hashtag so it would show up in our streams. That became extremely frustrating.

    • http://www.caseypalmer.com/ Casey E. Palmer

      As Twitter reaches more users, it starts reflecting more of what the entire Internet offers — a small portion of quality content, but mostly drivel that you’re sorry you ever laid eyes upon.

      I try to focus on the good. For my own sanity.

  • Hassanmirza

    I kinda hate myself for outreaching to PRs via tweets – but whatevs, it’s the only way of getting heard! mmmm also yes – hate people checking into their 9-5 on a daily basis – but im just more embarrassed for them. My rule i only check in if im genuinely excited about being somewhere. 

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Haha, yeah, I’ve been there bro. But I like your rule!

  • http://twitter.com/geekyshopaholic/status/237634391608786945 Paula

    RT @MarianSchembari: 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/EXdAdLrw

  • http://twitter.com/parisianfeline T.S. Christian

    So happy to see your social media posts :D

    I really don’t like the foursquare tweets because a) I don’t have a smart phone so it’s not applicable to me and b) they’re always from people who don’t live in the same place as me so it’s just SPAM. The bit.ly newspaper thing is kinda annoying. The only one I like is the Childfree one I sometimes get attached to because the posts are good. But I think those sorts of things are only good if the creator has a really focused TL. Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of random data compiled together.

    I love astrology, so I post astrological stuff every once in awhile. But it’s not just sun sign astrology, so it’s actually informative and awesome. I also follow professional astrologers and get updates that way. But I do have a great dislike for those accounts dedicated specifically to certain Sun signs (like capricorns do this, or scorpios do that) because they’re kinda spam-y and annoying.

    I don’t really like FB links either because most of the people (especially bloggers) who have FB fan pages, I already follow. So it’s hit or miss if the link is useful. What I DON’T like is when someone only tweets links to their FB page and it’s not information – it’ll be like a picture or something mundane like that. They should just get a blog and use that instead!

    I’ve done that “goodbye” thing on twitter when I found out other people did it and thought it was courteous. But I also use twitter for more personal stuff than just fact finding or networking. So I have people who tweet about sex, social justice, world issues, their personal lives, etc. I like that. And sometimes I tweet those things too. Or just go on and on and about cats. 

    My biggest pet peeve with twitter are the spam bots, or people whose profiles are full of hashtags instead of useful information >:o

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Wahoo! What a comment. Agree with everything, though astrology makes me want to barf. That said, you can’t please everyone so if that’s what interests you, I’m sure it interests someone out there too ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/nick_that/status/237667906853421056 NickThat

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/sfsAcSm4

  • http://twitter.com/shelfbuzz/status/237673879475204096 ShelfBuzz

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/QBMWNGDS

  • http://twitter.com/beallison/status/237710161899315202 Ben Allison

    New Blog Post 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read – Is it just me, or are tweets starting to blend together? Gone are the … http://t.co/qgZI6ppN

  • http://twitter.com/nessoldfield/status/237737105541955584 Ness

    @L_To Yes, that's a pain. I actually read a blog today that summed a lot of it up @amylmcdonald (http://t.co/NmCrquAM)

  • http://twitter.com/trulyusefulco/status/237840227308290048 Julie Mellors

    Oh yeah! 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read — Marian Schembari http://t.co/XmHt0q20

  • http://twitter.com/jayaradheshyam Rachel Borsch

    I dislike the assumption that I will click on a link if you don’t provide adequate info. about what I will gain by clicking. Too often I am transported to a blog with a free book that requires an email sign up. Yawn.

    • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

      Amen sister.

  • http://twitter.com/jorgensundberg/status/237951207929430016 Jorgen Sundberg

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read — by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/2g8w6n0h

  • http://twitter.com/yasmeenatdell/status/237951504525430784 Yasmine

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read — by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/2g8w6n0h

  • http://twitter.com/sweet_retweets/status/237952075626057728 Sweet Retweets

    Off to bed, Twitterverse! RT @JorgenSundberg: 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read — by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/B59V1nek

  • Raziqtrv

    sarcasm is always the best choice to express the unlikeness… haha.. follow me on twitter  @raziqkhirudin 

  • http://twitter.com/andyheadworth/status/241492056642568192 Andy Headworth

    5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/6rMxtcCT via @marianschembari << totally spot on here!

  • http://twitter.com/giannicremasco/status/241492310402166784 giannicremasco

    true dat @andyheadworth 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/7fvcg13u via @marianschembari

  • http://twitter.com/berniejmitchell/status/245877015733997569 Bernie J Mitchell

    "5 Tweets I Never Want to Read" by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/qVqoSM5b

  • http://twitter.com/tonycomms/status/245878991683198977 Tony Stewart

    "5 Tweets I Never Want to Read" by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/qVqoSM5b

  • http://twitter.com/rockissponge/status/245879202249859072 Tony Stewart

    "5 Tweets I Never Want to Read" by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/qVqoSM5b

  • http://twitter.com/totallyxristina/status/245936157949566976 Christina Haydon

    "5 Tweets I Never Want to Read" by @MarianSchembari http://t.co/qVqoSM5b

  • http://twitter.com/everydaymanager/status/247252430922850304 Jonathon Hagger

    Nice! RT @MarianSchembari: 5 Tweets I Never Want to Read http://t.co/ZHDVAa1i

  • http://twitter.com/johngflynn657 john g. flynn

    i love reading this article especially if it has something to do with twitter! Twitter nowadays is very much alike with Facebook and it sucks you know :p

  • http://6birds.net/ Liza

    Some people I follow tweet that they’re “going to the bathroom. stomach hurts!” I think that’s one of the worst. So I suppose the TMI tweets (i.e. tweets about personal hygiene, that-time-of-the-month, the person’s sex life be it alone or with someone, their bodily functions, etc.) are what I really don’t want to read.

    Yet I have, and I’ve unfollowed a lot of people for such.

  • Naomi Garnice

    Yes, these are all great examples!! The good nights are the worst.

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