Career

25 Things in 25 Years

by Marian Schembari on May 10, 2011

Last week, I turned twenty-four, thus entering my twenty-fifth year. Just around the same time every blogger in existence started writing about 25 things they learned in 25 years. And I haven’t stopped thinking about what I’ve learned since. Just during Year 23 I lived on three continents, grew a business, moved in with a guy, left my family for an indefinite amount of time, was on TV, in a national magazine, got flack, gave flack, etc etc.

While I may still have a lot to learn, here are my twenty-five things. I’d love to hear yours…

25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years

1. Ninety-nine percent of the time, online is cheaper (though supporting local shops is awesome – if you have unlimited amounts of money). I recently took advantage of a chain’s shoe fitting service, found the perfect running shoes that made my shin splints disappear, saw said shoes were $280 in store, then promptly bought them new on eBay for $120 (this includes shipping from Alabama to New Zealand).

2. Taking a little step is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Sometimes dreams are daunting, but as Jenny Blake mentioned in her amazing book, Life After College, even listing two steps you can take to make that dream a reality are two steps in the right direction. After recently taking such a step, I couldn’t be more sure about this lesson.

3. Copious amounts of tea can cure a cold.

4. Beautifully decorated cake is the easiest and best gift you can bring to a party. Plus, it’s hugely impressive.

5. Just because a country natively speaks English doesn’t mean it’s culture is anything like another English speaking country. Same goes for cultures within a country.

6. The news only covers noteworthy stories. It doesn’t mean it’s representation is accurate. (Re: I still can’t get over how the news here is representing how Americans reacted to Bin Laden’s death.)

7. Going fast is fun. Ride the luge in Rotorua.

8. Running a successful business means ALWAYS being proactive about growing it.

9. Interviewing people is the best way to grow your network and get advice.

10. Putting yourself out there is the only way you’ll ever get anything. A great way to do this? Blogging.

11. You’re never going to make everyone happy. Don’t try.

12. Gossip is never okay. Even if you’re in a group of people doing it, abstain.

13. Drinking alcohol is overrated. Drinking water is not.

14. Naps are awesome.

15. There’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of a few trends. (i.e. food trucks, review websites… just don’t blatantly copy and, please, avoid creating another group deal site.)

16. Sometimes our high school hobbies are things we shouldn’t stop as adults. I adored singing in high school. ADORED. I did musicals, joined an all-girls honor choir and one year even made it into CT’s All State. I dabbled in college, but didn’t feel like making the commitment. Why? It made me so happy! So I recently joined the Greater Auckland Chorus and even after only two rehearsals I feel more like myself. It’s incredible how as we get older we stop doing the frivolous, fun things we’re passionate about. I say go out and take up a childhood hobby asap before you deem it unimportant. Trust me, it is.

17. Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean you can suddenly support yourself doing it. I know every lifestyle designer on the planet may hate me, but a plan, a little experience under your belt, a couple dolla bills in the bank and a support system will make “living your passion” 100 time easier.

18. While experiences are significantly more meaningful than possessions, after a year of not buying a single piece of clothing, I have to say feeling good about yourself (this means pretty things, healthy food, kitchen appliance that work etc) is worth the money you might have spent on a week-long holiday.

19. Take your camera everywhere, as memories of the experiences you DO spend money on (and those you don’t) will fade pretty quickly. Having something to look back on is the best gift you can give yourself.

20. One of my favorite lessons was simply by learning from my boyfriend, Sam. Essentially, the more you listen to someone and ask questions and be interested in what they have to say, the more they’ll like you.

21. Make an effort to keep in touch with friends. If anything’s kept me sane over the past few months of utterly re-hauling my life, it’s my girls back home and the beauty of Skype.

22. Never mix friends, money and family in any sort of combination.

23. As much as I’d like to, I can never be vegan. Cheese is amazing.

24. No matter how hot you might look, heels are uncomfortable, expensive, and totally not worth it.

25. It’s the relationships you make with everyone, not just “A-Listers”, that show the quality of your character. These folks are also usually better friends, less pretentious and hugely underrated. Spread your wings a bit, mmkay?

What about you? What’s one important lesson you’ve learned in your however-many years?

{Photo credit 1}

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Jobs I’ve Had. Weird that two of them feature s-e-x.

by Marian Schembari on December 2, 2010

Despite my age, I’d been around the block a few times before “settling into” my career as a social media consultant. When I was 14 my mom told me I wasn’t allowed to sit around the house during summer so I was forced to take a 15-hour per week gig at her friend’s office. I’ve, unfortunately, been working ever since. For the past ten years I’ve been everything from a camp counselor to a hand model to a kinky baker. Oh, yes. Read on…

Retail “professional” a sex museum

No, not that kind of a professional, you pervert. This was actually the most recent of my jobs as I needed a way to subsidize my income while starting off into the freelance world. I was only there for a few months but… well… what can I say? There are some interesting people in the world. No judgments, I promise. I’m the last person who gets uncomfortable with that kind of stuff.

To be honest though? Significantly less exciting than you would think. Lots of sitting in the basement checking coats, then giving back coats to visitors who forgot a camera in the pocket. Lots of saying the same things over and over and over again to tourists who didn’t understand a word that I was saying. Lots of non-sex related boredom.

Cashier at an art gallery

Here’s the thing: I actually really like retail. If you’re in the right place you get to play with cool stuff all day and talk to people. Sure, there’s a little cleaning and tedium involved but I highly enjoyed working at Wooden Stone Gallery in Davidson, NC. They have the coolest stuff for sale there and the other folks working there were beyond lovely. I was even invited to spend Easter Sunday with one of my coworkers when she realized I had nowhere else to go. Too cute.

Baker at a kinky cake shop

This is the job I talk about at parties as there was nothing else like it. I took the job so I could hone my baking skills and since it was run out of the owner’s home I didn’t need any kind of culinary degree. And oh, did we bake. Cupcakes that looked like breasts, gingerbread men wearing assless chaps and/or with ball gags in their mouths, cookies with “spank me” written in cheerfully colored icing.

I loved the baking. Who cared what I was baking, as long as I was paid to cook?

It was when my boss requested I attend an “event” that it got really interesting. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what this event was for. There was music and stalls and lots and lots of naked people. Like, just walking around. But they weren’t the distracting ones. It was the woman dressed up in only a gladiator skirt and chains, being walked around on a leash. And the guy strapped to some kind of torture table. And the hastily written posters on every wall saying “Please. No wanking.” At least they liked the cupcakes.

Waitress

While not the most interesting job on the planet, everyone should have service industry experience. I’m the best restaurant customer in the world because of my time working at a Tex-Mex restaurant in London. Why I thought – as a die-hard vegetarian – that was a good idea is beyond me. But it was an experience I will remember until the day I die.

Sure, people are assholes and you should always tip, but the hardest part, was simply doing my damn job. It’s hard! I thought my feet were broken the first day on the job seeing as I had been standing for 14 hours. It was the remembering orders for 10 tables at a time and splitting the bill and learning how to run a tab at the bar. It was the fact that I had to work weekends and holidays and sometimes my bosses just wouldn’t pay us and I was technically making £2 per hour and you literally do survive on tips.

Waiting tables still is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So tip your waitress, folks. I bet you $100 her job is harder than yours.

Sleep and hand model

These “modeling” gigs were actually part of my high school job as an assistant at a yoga music and DVD company. Brilliant job, brilliant boss, just brilliant all around. After a year or so working there my bosses requested I take part in some photos they were taking for the cover of a massage DVD. I think the images came out pretty well, if I do say so myself. Look at my pretty hands…

But wait! There’s more. A few months later my bosses were putting together some promo for a new product to help students meditate and nap during the day. A surprisingly cool kit, I might add. Anyhoodle, my handsome mug is featured in two places on the site.

And what, do you ask, was I doing? I was fake sleeping. Whilst smiling.

Oh hell yes.

What about you guys? Weirdest job you’ve had?

{Photo credit}

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Make Your Mark With Shatterbox

by Marian Schembari on July 5, 2010

Amanda Holt

Having a weekly feature like Critique My Profile has given me all sorts of ideas for other features – plus, they give me something to write about when I’ve got blogger’s block. So I’ve decided to try my hand at another feature. Who knows if I can keep it up, but for now I’d like to introduce you to some really cool people doing really cool things. (As of right now, I can’t think of a catchy enough title. Feel free to suggest one!)

I want to start off with shatterbox and its founder, Amanda Holt (@heyshatterbox). Amanda was introduced to me by Marie Forleo, another lady who’s work makes this world a better place.

Shatterbox is a site featuring young people that are doing amazing things with their lives and careers. Amanda says about the site:

I founded shatterbox in 2009 because I saw fellow twenty-somethings struggling to find inspiration in their careers. It’s scary out there, but I know it’s possible to love your job even right out of college. So I wanted to find people who love what they do. I found them. And I captured their stories for shatterbox.

But the site doesn’t just feature these awesome people, Amanda and her team created mini-documentaries that are beautifully made, high-definition and tell the stories of young people changing the world. Or, as Amanda likes to put it, making their mark.

Here’s their teaser video for your viewing pleasure:


While all the videos are amazing, I think my favorite is of Maia Josebachvili, founder of Urban Escapes, an outdoor adventure company for those of us living in the concrete jungle. A company I totally should have taken advantage of while living in New York.

My favorite thing about Maia’s story is that she started organizing trips while she was still in college, essentially just for funsies. I love stories like that – when people take the things they love doing, the things they would do for free, and turn them into a thriving career.

ALSO! The site just launched an incredible scholarship called the Make Your Mark! Competition. Every month they give $1,000 to help a new young entrepreneur kick start the whole “living their dreams” thing.

So head on over to shatterbox and spend the rest of your day watching every video they’ve ever made. It’s gonna make you want to quit whatever job you’re doing and start a charity, open up a bakery, sell some granola or just generally, be whatever makes you extraordinarily and deliriously happy.

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LinkedIn Mondays: Top 3 Career Superpowers

by Marian Schembari on May 24, 2010

While I’m not sure about the wording of this question, I think it’s always important to look at how your skills can help other people. (And of course know what those skills are exactly.)

Question

What are your three strongest career superpowers? I’m looking to see how reframing our strengths as superpowers actually makes career development more fun and less frustrating.

~ Karl Staib

You gotta love Flickr, man. How amazing is this photo?

My Answer

I’m actually just putting together an article on the traits employers find irresistible. I interviewed about 10 different HR consultants/employees/whatever and their 3 most interesting answers were:

1. Make OTHER people – whether interviewers or coworkers – feel important and special. Stop trying to be impressive, stop trying to make yourself feel important. Instead, spend time making the people around you feel special and it will all come back to you.

2. Use social media to highlight and/or reinvent yourself. Stop freaking out about your blog or Facebook page. Instead, use it to really market yourself as a potential employee or highlight your expertise as an important part of your industry.

3. Eye contact. Seriously. It’s that simple.

Other traits the HR managers mentioned:

  • “Thank you notes can ruin everything if they are long and complicated or if you are trying to make up for your bad performance during the interview. Don’t use thank you notes to offer better answers after the interview is over.” ~ Berit Brogaard
  • “Bring a 90-day plan to the initial interview. One candidate brought in a complete customized plant turnaround plan for an Operations Manager role. He got the job.” ~ Kendra Schultz

And my favorite…

  • “Usually applicants are ashamed to list restaurant experience when entering the corporate world, but my best performing employees have come with a restaurant background. If you have ever waited and served the hungry general public, you can multi-task, handle stress under pressure, possess a sense of urgency, understand the importance of deadlines, possess excellent customer service skills and, most importantly, no sense of entitlement.” ~ Patty Sharkey

Gonna keep it short and sweet today, but I’ve never hired anyone. For those of you who have, what “superpowers” do find most important?

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Being “Multi-Passionate” Does Not Mean Flaky

by Marian Schembari on April 28, 2010

Love of my life, Marie Forleo, has a fab blog in which I await her latest postings with, you know, bated breath. I’m in her coaching program, so you’d think I’d get enough Marie. You’d be very wrong. Love letter aside, I got an update from Marie today announcing her latest post was – gasp! – by some dude called Johnny B. Truant. Well, poop. I clicked anyway because I trust Marie’s judgment and I am oh-so-glad I did.

This would be Johnny

Mr. Truant is now the second love of my life and maybe we can all get married and live in a house together whilst blogging about our passions. I was nodding my head like a crazy person at every sentence. He wrote about Marie’s concept about being a “multi-passionate entrepreneur” and how it’s okay to be yourself and not get stuck talking about your niche all the time. I’ve grown to hate that word.

What should you do… FOREVER?

I’ve been reading a lot of books lately with the theme “what should I do with my life?” and am reading a book by the same name by Po Bronson. Take that, combined with Marie’s program and my serious Quarterlife Crisis and I come to the conclusion that not only does it not matter, but you don’t have to choose just one thing. I know I’ve written about this before, but this is the first time I’ve been super-okay with that. I really enjoy what I do – helping authors connect online – but understanding that it’s not something I’ll do forever makes me love it. It makes me better.

Do I really want to give career and social media advice for the rest of my life? Not particularly. And that’s the reason I started the Pajama Job Hunt. You’d think that starting a company slash classroom would require some form of long-term commitment, but it’s the lack of commitment that solidified my decision.

I was so bogged down with the idea that I needed to find the PERFECT job, The One that combined all my passions so I wouldn’t feel bored 30 years from now. But too much of anything can make you sick. When I first decided to go to culinary school a guy I was dating told me, “Are you sure that’s something you want to do?” I thought he wasn’t being supportive but he explained, “I just don’t want you to lose that passion you have for baking by making it your job.” He is one smart cookie.

You don’t always lose your passion if it’s your job, but tying yourself down can make you multi-passionate people question that choice for years. I don’t want to be that person. At first I though about combining all my passions, maybe open a bakery to satisfy my pastry passion, write about opening the store to satisfy my writer’s passion, probably blog and Twitter about it to satisfy my social media addition, then travel and sell things I found in said store. I’d write about that too. As lovely as that sounds, I think instead of focusing on 50,000 things at once it might be more beneficial to do what feels natural RIGHT NOW.

When I quit my publicity job I enrolled in culinary school immediately, thinking I needed to “catch up”. I couldn’t find a cosigner for my loan though and was devastated. Now I think it happened for a reason, because while I’ll do the pastry thing asap, right now it feels good to blog and write and help authors. I want to move ahead into the career/social media thing and, funnily enough, the Pajama Job Hunt came about when I finally let all that other pressure go.

Just a number, baby

People are “accomplished” when in an industry for 20 years. Especially authors. “John Smith is a board certified Expert in Blahblahblah and taught Expertness at College X for 15 years and has written 50 trillion books on Expertise. He resides in Kentucky with his wife, Jane, and their dog, Expert.” You’ve seen that bio a hundred times. It’s all about how long you’ve been doing something, how many times you’ve been acknowledged for doing it and how public you’ve been in the process. I bet John is sick to death of Expertise, don’t you think? Plus, how much of an expert can he still be? Industries change.

You are made up of many passions

I’m going to leave you with this little nugget of awesome: Truant wrote, “Carving out one aspect of yourself and saying ‘This is who I am’ is dumb.”

Love that man.

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