Show Buttons
Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Linkdin
Share On Pinterest
Contact us
Hide Buttons

things that make me want to punch you and a friend

8 Sentences to Immediately Cut From Your Twitter Bio

by Marian Schembari on January 6, 2011

Because of time constraints and the rash of horrible Twitter profiles lately, I’ve taken to only clicking on someone’s username if their bio looks interesting. While I may have already bitched about the eight reasons no one’s following you on Twitter, I want to take a deeper look into the specifics of The Bio.

8 Bio Mistakes to Avoid Like the Plague

1. “Mom of 3, Granny of 7, Wife of 1.”

If I had a nickle for every time I saw some version of this in a bio, well, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. Unless you’re a mommy blogger, we couldn’t care less. While I’m sure your kids are supremely awesome, if you’re using Twitter for professional reasons, you’ve basically told us the reason we should follow you isn’t for your work, but your family.

2. “Lover of Jesus Christ.”

I hesitate to mention this, but it’s the truth: Unless you’re a minister or religious blogger, shouting about your love of God and prayers to the Lord is going to do one thing: Alienate those who don’t share your beliefs.

3. “I love poodles, am an antique doorknob collector, like to play with fire, have read 27 books today and my room is entirely pink.”

To be honest, I’ve seen a few profiles that list irrelevant facts like this that I actually like. However, if you’re hoping to build a network in your field or want to generate blog traffic, no one cares about your antique doorknob collection. Unless, of course, you’re crushing it via your blog about antique doorknobs.

4. “I want to share my marketing ideas with YOU!”

Anything about making us better online and/or social media bullshit ls just lame and completely unoriginal. If you’re a social media guru, awesome, just try to find some fresh language to liven up your profile and make it actually appealing.

5. “Follow me @TylerH, @TylerHardy, @Tyler_Movies and @TylerAndYourMom.”

Listen, if you tweet about horses at @ILovePonies as well as @JaneDoe, by all means, list that handle. If you have another blog, mention it. HOWEVER, I came across a profile today that actually listed 5 different accounts, meaning there was no room to actually tell us who he was. Someone please explain the point of that to me?

6. “I Like To Capitalize Every Letter.”

Folks, Twitter is not a sales letter and if you’re a yoga instructor and a ballerina and a blogger don’t say something stupid like: I Am A Yoga Instructor, Ballerina And Blogger. THESE ARE NOT PROPER NOUNS AND UNLESS THERE ARE PERIODS AFTER EACH WORD PLEASE USE LOWER CASE.

7. “Follow me pweeze!”

Please PLEASE don’t ask people to follow you or say something like, “I just wanna meet people” or “Love developing relationships online!” Vomit. And desperate much?

8.”Life is like a box of chocolates ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥”

Avoid quotes, complete nonsense no one will understand, improper grammar and any sort of image that makes it hard to read the actual content (i.e., hearts/music notes/flags).

2 Things You May Want to Include Instead

1. A discount code or helpful download. See my post about M-Edge and why offering some sort of present to potential followers can help spread your Awesome far and wide.

2. A relatable “irrelevant fact.” If you’re a dietitian, it’s okay to mention that you love cookie dough ice cream. Random facts can be great as they make you a more well rounded tweep, just try not to make your whole profile about said facts. Then you’re just a jumble of words and we can’t differentiate you from all the other millions of folks out there.

Now, I’m considering developing this post into more of a “step-by-step tips to a better Twitter profile” as a sort of “super cheap or free guide slash workbook” to help you guys build or improve your profiles. Raise your hand if you’d be interested!!

Also, up next week: I give you the insider’s tour to what it’s like to work with yours truly. An awesome client has agreed to let me show you the before and after of her Twitter profile! Get pumped.

{Photo credit 1} {Photo credit 2}


Are You a Troll?

November 8, 2010

According to Wikipedia (which, as we know, is always right) an Internet Troll is: Someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response. I’ve been thinking a lot about […]

46 comments You know you want more →

Sometimes You Just Need to Tell People Like Me to Shove It

November 4, 2010

If you’ve been using social media for any length of time, you start to notice trends. No, not hashtags of Justin Bieber, but people who use the term “ninja” in their Twitter bios or have baby pictures of themselves on Facebook (guilty!). You start to see the same things over and over and over again. […]

37 comments You know you want more →

Conversation Starter: Blog Cliques & Online Annoyances

October 6, 2010

The best part of this blog is what’s happening in the comments section, so I thought every week or month (or whenever I feel like it, really) I would pose an open-ended question to you all so we can share our successes, trials, tribulations, annoyances and favorite tips. Kind of like an online forum, but […]

58 comments You know you want more →

Why I Hate Information Products

September 30, 2010

There are a number of ways bloggers can make money – the most common method being advertising, followed by donation buttons, services and products. For most people at my level of blogging (not enough traffic to make any real cash through ads, good enough traffic to sell things to our audience), the next logical step […]

53 comments You know you want more →