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What Actually Happens When a Celebrity Retweets You

by Marian Schembari on February 23, 2012

Okay. Whew! That was interesting.

Let’s just jump right into it, shall we?

First, this happened: I wrote a post about Stephen Fry and the broadband issues in New Zealand.

Then, this happened: Stephen Fry saw the post, READ IT (God bless that beautiful man) and retweeted it out to his followers. (Then had the gentlemenly quality to thank me.)

Because of that, this happened:

Yes. You read that correctly. That would be over 70,000 clicks in 24 hours.

But because that happened, this happened:

Gotta love, Bluehost, huh?

I almost started hyperventilating. Every blogger dreams of getting their writing found – to have something go at least a little viral. Well, not only did things NOT go as planned (hellllo Database Error!) but I had no idea this would be the post that finally “made it”. I wrote it on a whim at midnight because I was so infuriated by New Zealand’s reaction to Fry’s tweets about our broadband. It wasn’t – how shall we say – the nicest, most non-stereotypically American post I’ve ever written.

Thankfully, reader response was surprisingly positive. I was impressed at the lack of trolls and angry Kiwis. It was pretty awesome seeing so many people agree with what I thought was a privileged-American-girl (or British celebrity) problem.

An since most of you regular readers are also bloggers, I thought I’d take you through a tour of this blog’s undercarriage so you can see exactly what goes down when something so stunning happens.

Exactly What Happens When an Actor with 4 Million Twitter Followers Shares Your Post

Number one: Clicks. Obviously. Lots of them. As of right now there are 295 retweets and counting. The majority of clicks obviously came from Fry’s 4 million followers, and this totaled to around 70,000 clicks on the first day.

Number two: Traffic. Unfortunately, my site crashed (or, as the internets like to call it, my site got “Fryed”). My host was in no way prepared for the influx of traffic and my site continues to have issues and keeps crashing on me. On the first day I received 13,238 visitors. The second day, 15,497. See below for a screenshot of my Analytics. The 300-700 views per day I was getting before? Insignificant compared to what Fry did in seconds.

Number three: Revenue. (Sort of.) I made a whopping $18.06 from Adsense during the past two days. For someone who averages out around $0.20 on a good day, $18 is pretty damn impressive. Now what shall I spend it on…?

Number four: Subscribers. Even with tens of thousands of new visitors, my subscribers only went up by 31. Because people tend to subscribe only when they’ve been to a blog a few times, I’m not hugely surprised, but it’s definitely an interesting non-development.

Number five: Twitter followers. I received 127 new followers in the past two days. It usually takes about 1-2 weeks for me to accumulate that much “organically”.

Number six: Klout. My score went up by eleven points after Fry shared the post.

What They Don’t Tell You

It’s been pretty cool to see all my traffic and stats go up. HOWEVER. The bounce rate on my site is now beyond high. time spent has decreased by over a minute so it’s now it’s at an average (average!) of 30 seconds. Clearly I’m not immediately impressing people with my charm and dashing good looks.

Basically, it was a nice bump in traffic that’s done wonders for my ego, but the lesson here is that just because you get mentioned by an “a-lister” (or Stephen-fucking-Fry in this case) doesn’t mean it will help your site long term.

There’s no real moral to this story other than: here’s a look into what really happens when someone awesome links to you. Pretty interesting, huh?

p.s. Mr Stephen Fry, you’re my new hero. A hat tip to you, kind sir.

{ 38 comments }

Fry Trashes New Zealand Broadband. Schembari Says ‘HELL YEAH’.

by Marian Schembari on February 20, 2012

Ever since arriving in New Zealand I’ve been developing this chip on my shoulder about the internet. When I first arrived I had been freelancing, which meant spending a lot of time out of the house working at coffee shops and libraries.

Not in New Zealand.

I quickly discovered coffee shops here don’t have free wifi, but the general internet is total crap. Not only slow, but expensive. And dysfunctional anywhere outside cities. And, oh, wait, LIMITED.

What is limited internet?

At the risk of sounding like a first-world whiner (which, let’s face it, the majority of this post is going to be just that), I had no idea what limited broadband meant until moving here.

Essentially it means you can only pay for and use a certain amount of data. Activities like checking email don’t eat much. Updating software, using Skype, watching YouTube videos, uploading photos…. those do.

In New Zealand, that data costs a lot. For $200/month living with five people we received 20GB of data each. In New York, my roommate and I paid $22 total for unlimited internet. You do the math.

Broadband Issues Bad for New Zealand’s Economy

I’m currently working for a start-up in a young industry. I meet a lot of professionals and entrepreneurs who are invested in New Zealand’s growth as part of the global economy. Over the past year I’ve been to many conferences on that very topic – a major event at the University of Auckland Business School, a digital conference run by MSN, a program hosted by Google…

Want to know what all these events had in common?

None of them had wifi.

Someone please explain how you can attend a conference for digital professionals about the growth of New Zealand’s international economy AND NOT HAVE THE FUCKING INTERNET.

But wait! It gets better…

Enter: Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry, master of all that is humorous and national treasure of England, is in New Zealand. And I was giddy with joy when my 15-month-long annoyances were justified when I saw this tweet:

The full story is, apparently, Fry was doing lots of “high-bandwidth activities” like uploading photos/videos. He went over the limit and Telecom slowed his speed to dial-up, which is what happens here if you exceed your limit.

(As someone who does this every month, I can assure you it’s quite the treat.)

What shocked me though were the tweets following Fry’s rant. New Zealanders are a defensive bunch and even if everyone here hates the limits, there was no way in hell they would allow an outsider to insult their country.

One guy tweeted that, well, “maybe internet is slow here but at least it stops people from tweeting too much” (!). Another called Fry an asshole. And, of course, many brought out The Earthquake Card, saying Kiwis who have internet “should be thankful for what they have.”

NZ publications and even the damn government is responding to this issue all wrong. They’re responding as if Fry has had an out-of-the-ordinary experience. I can assure you, he hasn’t. Fry’s issue is representative of a bigger problem in New Zealand.

Dear NZ, You’re 10 Years Behind. Again.

Fry later posted a series of tweets that have made me fall in love with him even more. He said (edited for clarity), “Comcast-style throttling is disastrous for the economy. For visitors and for everyone. It won’t stop illegal torrenting and makes as much sense as closing a lane of traffic because there’s congestion. Yes, Kiwi Land is remote, but if Avatar can be made here and they want to keep its reputation for being the loveable, easy-going, outdoorsy yet tech savvy place it is, then pressure @telecomNZ into offering better packages. Kiwis travel. They know 20MB is routine in Europe and the UK is rolling out ultra fast fibre-optic. Come on, New Zealand, you’re world champions at rugby and film-making. Pressure the providers to stop being a digital embarrassment.”

This has nothing to do with Fry going over the data cap. Or choosing the wrong provider. There is no other provider. There are no real competitors to Telecom. It’s called a monopoly. And it’s not okay.

And, to clarify, most first world countries don’t have data caps. As per usual, New Zealand is about ten years behind. In the words of one commenter, its policies are “primitive.” One traveler even said that as much as he loved it here, the broadband limitations means he “could never work or live here permanently.”

So BRAVO, Stephen Fry. B-R-A-V-O.

{ 254 comments }

5 (More) Examples of Absurdly Well-Written Twitter Bios

by Marian Schembari on January 16, 2012

It’s shocking how rarely I come across a Twitter bio that inspires me. Most are blank, bland, irrelevant or say almost verbatim what I’ve seen a million other times on the interwebs. But sometimes I come across bios that are snappy, witty, laugh out loud funny and make me immediately want to follow said tweeter (and be their Bestie 4 Life).

Like these five…

I clearly have a thing for writers, but they obviously know how to clearly and cleverly talk about themselves. The bio of @akharlamova just so perfectly describes the life of an author in so few words. And it also does a great job showing that she’s dedicated, consumed and in love with what she does. Nicely done, Arina.

It would have been so easy for @showmethesun to have written, “Book lover. Works in Publishing. From Melbourne.” Instead, she eats books for breakfast! She’s a curator instead of just a blogger. She doesn’t just work in publishing, she loves it. She doesn’t just live in Melbourne, she’s happy there. I feel like I know her already.

I love it when a major corporation isn’t afraid to add a little humor in their bio. What @Staples does is genius in that they quickly sum up what they do, then tap into the joys of every office worker on the planet. Like starch.

@KatjaPresnal clearly has a lot going for her. She tells us why she’s great, what she’s up to, what she does for living, then throws her personality at us in full force. This is a girl I could be friends with. And “carpe the shit out of diem” obviously needs to be my life motto. (Thanks to @aodt for sending this bio my way!)

I’m in love with @IsaChandra and think her loud and clear voice on this bio coupled with such simplicity is pretty unique. Sometimes (aka “all the time”) you just don’t need to over-explain. For Isa, four words is all she needs. I like her style and for those of you who eat more than just meat and potatoes can also appreciate her location quip.

Takeaways

1. A few choice words can make all the difference. Take a page out of Steph’s half-eaten book (see what I did there? I crack myself up) and stay away from over-used descriptions when talking about yourself.

2. What’s a really obvious stereotype about your industry/job/passion? Are you an accountant? Poke fun at the fact that you’re not absurdly boring. Social media strategist? Mention you’re sure as hell not a guru/ninja. Make like Staples and stand out from the crowd by being good-natured about the judgments surrounding what you do.

3. Do you have a specific writing style? Do you swear a lot? Have a rad vocabulary skills? Write poetry? Translate that strong style à la Isa Chandra so that voice shines in your bio!

Want more Twitter love? Read parts 1 and 2 here. And if you’ve seen any great bios lately, please share them in the comments!

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More Twitter bios to inspire you…

by Marian Schembari on December 6, 2011

Welcome to part 2 of Twitter Bios That Will Rock Your Socks.

After publishing last month’s post I realized the majority of the people featured were writers. Apparently writers can write well. Go figure.

While authors may have the upper hand in crafting short, sweet and memorable bios, I did try to avoid that “mistake” this go around. I even feature a company or two!

Alright, so maybe @joelharperfit was a client of mine back in the day, but his bio is still a work of genius. It establishes him as an expert (re: impressive clients) while also showing he’s not snobby about it (re: 10 year old kids). It subtly hints at a product you can buy without shoving it down your throat (re: FIT PACK) and then makes him relatable and easygoing with the dessert comment. Pretty much the perfect bio.

I featured @AuckTransport recently and for good reason. Every Aucklander without a car (and sometimes with) can relate to the ridiculous inefficiencies of Auckland’s public transport system. What I love about this bio in particular is that it starts off almost like it’s an official account, then throws you the “shit” curveball. (And I’m nothing if not a girl who loves her potty language.) Finally, they round it out with an extremely identifiable quip about transport delays. Genius, I tell you!

@RedheadWriting (aka Erika Napolentano) makes me think, cry, laugh out loud and is one of my favorite bloggers of all time. So it comes as no surprise that her bio is both impressive and self-deprecating. She makes other Twitter-lovers feel some sort of connection AND it says what she does while giving us an idea of the kind of writer she is. She’s a digital girl without looking like every other digital girl.

Food blogger (and another personal favorite of mine), @joythebaker has such a simple and perfect bio there’s not a lot else I can say. This fits her online personality and makes me want to immediately make a batch of her cookies (a recipe I most likely found on her blog).

Yeah, it shocked me too when I found myself screenshotting the profile of @BNZBank. But come on, how great is this bio? Very simple, to the point and clear they understand how Twitter works. They’ve managed to combine their long history (150 years of banking) with new digital technology (140 characters). Plus, when a bank give us a glimpse of humor they become a-okay in my book.

Another company profile I just had to include. @threadhelp is so great because they walk the walk. I had a question the other day and they responded within the hour. They’re true to their word and while this profile is nowhere near as fun as the official Threadless account, it serves such a great service and you can feel the smile coming right out of your screen.

Takeaways:

1. Relatability is huge. Make people feel like they know you and have had similar experiences.

2. Be impressive. Highlight your mad skills, but don’t get cocky. Feel free to list a snazzy award, column or hot client, but don’t forget to round it out to point #1.

3. Sometimes you don’t need to list all your hobbies, job titles, URLs, etc. Sometimes a simple sentance that sums up your Great Passion is enough to grab our interest.

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How I Use HootSuite: An Organizational Tutorial

by Marian Schembari on November 21, 2011

A few months ago I made a video tutorial for the subscribers of my newsletter. To be honest, I never really liked making “exclusive” content so the newsletter is now defunct and I’m re-purposing some of the good ones that went out last year.

As you’ll see below, this tutorial is a demonstration of how I use HootSuite and keep it organized. While I’m a big proponent of “different strokes for different folks”, I personally love taking a peek into the quirky ways people use things. While my setup below is by no means unique or all that creative, it does work hugely well for me in terms of keeping up with searches, conversations and not losing my life entirely when I sign in.

Enjoy!

For those of you who aren’t into the whole video thing, here’s a quick summary:

  1. HootSuite is more awesome than TweetDeck because it’s web based and there’s more flexibility in terms of organizing followers, topics and events.
  2. Use the “pending tweets” stream to start scheduling posts to go out so you can reach as many followers as possible.
  3. I organize my main tab with my home feed, @replies, sent tweets and pending. This way I can see everything at a glance and avoid sending a post out more than once.
  4. Go through your home feed every morning and see if there’s any conversations you can jump into.
  5. If you have a blog, organize a separate tab to include people who regularly comment/retweet so you can return the favor and stay in touch!
  6. Use well organized and highly specific lists so you can keep tabs on interesting people in your industry, coworks, real-life friends, etc.
  7. Set up a tab for any Twitter chats you join. Create columns for mentions, the hashtag and the moderator’s username so you don’t miss any questions or important comments in the flurry of the chat.

Any questions, don’t hesitate to ask below in the comments. And if you have any tips for me/us or if you’ve found different aspects of HootSuite useful, please share with the class!

Update: A few of you have asked to embed this video on your own sites and you’re more than welcome! A link back as credit would be a nice, but isn’t required.

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