writing

An Open Letter to “Writers” on the Internet

by Marian Schembari on December 7, 2011

Dear So-Called “Writers” on the Internet,

I’m gonna to give it to you straight: You’re driving me crazypants. You’re making my life difficult. I am so. fucking. over Googling Very Important Things like “painting wood laminate” or “how to make the cat stop pooping in the tub” (true story) and having to slog through completely irrelevant and useless articles from eHow and Yahoo! Answers. Your link baiting tricks aren’t making our lives any easier. You’re preventing people from finding websites that actually provide quality content. You’re preventing us from solving life’s Big Problems and learning things about things in the Real World. I shouldn’t have to dig through massive piles of shit also known as Search Engine Optimized Content because you want to increase your page rank.

Exhibit A: One of you recently wrote an article on Social Media Today, Why Community Managers are Like Bacon. You start off with:

In this article, I am going to compare community managers to bacon. I am going to explain the similarities in characteristics between them. Before we begin. Lets identify what bacon and a community manager is in definition.

Then you end with this little gem of a conclusion:

These are my reasons why bacon and community managers are the same. I hope you enjoyed the article. 

What the WHAT?

First of all, that’s how I wrote when I was seven before getting told off by my teacher who sternly lectured “show, don’t tell.” Secondly, I know everyone can’t write. Sometimes I’m barely coherent. But the fact that a relatively well-respected site – with the tagline “The world’s best thinkers on social media” – is publishing your garbage makes my blood boil. But because every blogger and their gran loves a metaphor and the word “bacon” features prominently in the headline, this is apparently content GOLD.

And while I’m on the subject of normal people not giving a crap about how they sound online, stop acting illiterate when posting on Facebook. Most of us aren’t Hemingway on this particular social network, but it’s like you actually truly 100% don’t understand how words are formed. Maybe you were drunk? All the time? Is there a disease called getting-plastered-the-second-my-hands-touch-a-keyboard-itis? Perhaps you should see a doctor.

To help refresh your memory…

When Gen X whines that the internet is making us all bad writers, they’re talking about you. When old-school publishers laugh at bloggers who call themselves “journalists” they’re talking about you.

Please. For the love of all that is holy. Shape up.

Hugs and butterfly kisses,
Marian Schembari

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The Blogger’s Fail-Proof Guide to Editing Posts

by Marian Schembari on October 26, 2011

Both of my parents are writers. They write for major newspapers, edit articles, have blogs and publish books. My 20 year old brother has written for The New York Times and Complex. My other brother, 21, has taken photos for the Times and his college essay was better than most bestsellers. It’s madness. I come from a family of geniuses.

Clearly.

But while you’d think it would be a lot to live up to, we all have our own styles. In college, I would send my Big Important essays to both parents for editing and get back two completely different versions. I’ve always SUCKED at editing, but lately… I don’t know what’s happening… I suppose I’m turning into my parents.

I’m loving it though. Not editing my own work, mind you, but I get off on deleting sentences. Reorganizing paragraphs. Adding a slightly different – but radically better – word to really hit the exact meaning.

So I’ve been reading A LOT on editing and writing tricks to make the writing on this blog something I can be proud of. While I can’t pretend to know the first thing about professional editing (let’s count how many errors are on this post alone), I am slowly starting to teach myself. And I’ve come across some amazing blogs and articles that have been really useful in terms of what words are almost always unnecessary, how to break grammatical rules with style and various ways to tweak a blog post so it shines:

Self-editing: 10 ways to tighten your writing

I use this post of Alexis Grant’s for every. single. thing I write. I go through her list and remove all the unncessary words and, when I’m done, my writing is that much stronger.

Improve Your Writing with these Editing Tips

While this Lifehack article isn’t the most creative things on the planet, I do need to be reminded to read over my posts backwards, out loud, watch for fancy words, justify each phrase… Basically, this piece is every single editing basic for whenever you need a good reminder.

Proofreading Tips

It’s absurd how often I turn to Grammar Girl. I even listen to her podcasts on the way to work (much to the embarrassment of my father who thinks I’m weird). While this isn’t her best post as it include the basics mentioned above, I like her emphasis on the fact that nobody’s perfect. That said, if you have ANY grammar questions, search the Grammar Girl site as she’s answered every issue you could possibly come across.

How to Use Language Like a Pro

As usual, Men with Pens knocks it out of the park. Ali Luke, writer extraordinaire, writes here about analysing the writing of your peers and blogger idols. I keep meaning to do this exercise with some of my favorites, but I learned some serious things about writing style and how to tweak my own from reading this post over and over.

How to Lose 30 Pounds of Word Flab Overnight

My favorite thing about editing? Cutting, cutting, cutting. I have a sick obsession with deleting words and turning a 900 word post into a 500 word one. This Copyblogger post by Sonia Simone is EPIC in that she really helps you tone down your words so your copy is as clean, easy to read and concise.

Two Techniques That Help You Embrace Brevity

Another Copyblogger post that’s worth bookmarking. I love the author’s use of concrete examples to demonstrate how much better your writing looks and sounds when shortened (and restructured).

25 Things You Should Know About Revisions

Chuck Wendig should know that I would marry him in a heartbeat. This post, as is common with Sir Wendig, is full naughty words, a no-bullshit-attitude and some seriously good advice. My favorite? “Multitasking is for assholes.”

I don’t even think I’ve broken the ice on all the great resources out there, so please share your favorites in the comments!

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Blog Post Ideas: 12 Ways to Bust the Block

by Marian Schembari on October 5, 2011

Most of the time, I have a backlog of post titles just sitting in my drafts. But sometimes I just get stuck. I’m out of opinions (surprise!), out of tips and out of motivation.

Ages ago I wrote a post about 9 different ways you can create new content, but over the years I’m constantly jotting down new ways I come up with posts. And what better way to spur your inspiration than share those ways with you? Here are a few tricks I’ve picked up along the way, along with suggestions from the Twitter community and further resources you HAVE to bookmark so you never run out of material.

 12 Blogger’s Block Busters

(say that three times fast)

Go through old content. Has your opinion changed? Have there been updates on a lesson or tutorial you wrote about?

Advanced advice. You see “beginning guide to blogging/fashion/pet care” everywhere, but what about tips for more advanced users? Even thinking about it from that perspective can change your posting tune.

Daily tasks. What do you do every day that has an effect on your blog? For instance, I go through my Twitter email folder and either follow or delete new followers. And every day I get annoyed with people’s lack of bio or too many hashtags in their tweets. So I’ve written a number of Twitter rants that always do really well.

Ask your readers. A great way to do this is through your blog’s Facebook page as it’s easier for people’s ideas to feed off one another. Poll plugins also work, as does asking people to share what they want to learn in the comments.

And that said, pull from comments. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used a reader question or suggestion as an idea for a later post.

Check out the top conversations on relevant Facebook pages. Facebook is one of my biggest sources of inspiration: photos, polls, competitions – they can all be so clever sometimes and it’s great for sparking the ole creativity engine.

What’s on your mind? This is an easy one, but every time I find myself struggling with something (i.e. blogger’s block) I just write about it. Instead of constantly worrying about what I should write, I write what I want to write. And you know what? It means I never get sick of my blog.

Spread your wings. I rarely read social media blogs – mostly because I find they say the same things over and over, but also because I simply enjoy food, design and travel blogs more. And these are the guys I learn most from. Leaving your niche is often the best way to get new post topics. For example, I’m working on a behind-the-scenes post that’s inspired by a lot of design blogs I read.

What’s going on in your life? While I worry about turning this site into another travel blog, Nicole Antoinette said it best on a recent post of hers, “If you’re a personal blogger whose blog is an online chronicle of your daily life, I think it’s completely natural for the topics you write about to grow as you grow and change as you change. You won’t have the same audience forever, because you won’t be the same you forever, and that’s okay.”

What X taught me about Y. While I usually scoff in the face of metaphor posts, sometimes one completely unrelated thing in your life can help you better understand whatever-it-is-you-blog-about. So sort of as an extension of the idea above, take something that’s happening in your personal life (in my case, travel) and relate it back to your niche. For example, “What Travel Has Taught Me About Social Media.”

Friends. If you’re anything like me, your real-life friends don’t really understand what you blog about. But those conversations with my friends? The ones where I try and simplify, explain or analyze what my site is really about? Those are what really get my creative juices flowing.

Idea journals. Okay, okay, we all know this is a smart thing to do, but seriously… do it. My brilliant boss carries one with him at all times and his blog is constantly being updated with great posts. While I’m sort of crap at carrying anything with me, I’ve started using Evernote (at Ben’s suggestion) and I now have a massive notebook filled with spur of the moment ideas I get while running, on the road or in the air. I’ve written some of my favorite posts using this method because you never know when a great idea might strike!

Hot Shot Suggestions

If you thought this was going to be a post on specific ideas, sorry y’all. Check out these great epic list of blog post ideas. I might just steal a few myself:

100 Blog Topics I Hope YOU Write ~ Chris Brogan

20 Types of Blog Posts – Battling Bloggers Block ~ Problogger

101 Great Posting Ideas That Will Make Your Blog Sizzle ~ I Help You Blog

Are You Hoarding Ideas? ~ Men with Pens

Community Suggestions

When I asked my followers how they beat blogger’s block, here’s what two brilliant minds had to say:

Now it’s your turn. How do you come up with great ideas? Do you backlog like me or write by the seat of your pants?

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So I Write Like I Talk. Sue Me.

by Marian Schembari on August 30, 2011

I love one sentence paragraphs…

Too many ellipses…. And starting sentences with the word “and.” (But the word “but” is good too.)

I write like I talk. Sometimes I use the same word multiple times in one paragraph without consulting a thesaurus. When I was 14 or so I wrote a school paper and used the word “imperative” instead of “important” and got called out for inappropriately using a thesaurus because apparently 14-year-olds don’t know what imperative means. Instead of taking the appropriate lesson from that experience, I decided writing as you speak is the number one way to connect with your reader.

Ali Luke just wrote an amazing post on Men with Pens, breaking down the writing styles of her favorite bloggers.

While I haven’t done as intricate a job as Ali, I have started noticing my favorites bloggers sometimes make up words, tell sex jokes and write run-on sentences followed by a joke about writing run-on sentences.

But just because they “break all the rules” doesn’t make them bad writers. In fact, the fact that they can keep me captivated for more than the standard 750 word blog post means they must be doing something right. And there’s a difference between people who throw caution to the wind and people who are completely incompressible. Ridiculous grammar is one thing, sounding like a robot is another…

And THIS is what makes a good blogger. The fact that so many break the rules in so many infinite ways. This doesn’t make them bad writers, this makes them connect with a group of people who find their specific style attractive.

To me, this is what defines someone’s “voice”. If we all followed the rules, then no one would stand out.

Thoughts? What kind of writing lights your fire?

{Photo credit}

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Do You Write 750 Words Per Day?

by Marian Schembari on July 18, 2011

Because almost every website I know and love has been found via Twitter, it’s no surprise my new obsession was due to a tweet by my new pal, Amy.

I’ve heard of writing 750 words per day via my college roommate and her obsession with The Artist’s Way, but I could never really get into it. Mostly because I hand write slowly and, like most people, I lose incentive over time.

Enter the super cool website, 750 Words, a place that’s “private, unfiltered, spontaneous, daily”.

I sat down to write my first “entry” and the words flew by. It’s sort of depressing, but I’m more used to typing than writing by hand. And while I love gorgeous journals and there’s nothing more inspiring than a blank page and subsequent book filled with your scribblings, it’s much more sustainable to journal-write online than in a book.

But the real treat came after writing that first entry.

I got points!

And stats!

At work, we’ve been talking about gamification (yes, it’s a real word), and how the concept of point systems and prizes, even if entirely virtual, can make a campaign. I won’t bore you with the details here, but it’s hugely inpisiring and Buster, the guy behind 750 Words, has got this strategy down pat.

You get points for every entry you write, which further convinces you to write. You can see a calendar with days checked off for when you’ve participated, and you get rewarded for every post with stats about your entry!

Instead of writing a paragraph on the cool features, check out the pretty graphs for my first entry:

It get’s better….

Apparently I’m really concerned with food. And myself. Surprise, surprise.

To top it all off, you get a list of most-used words. Keep in mind I’ve chosen the day with the “cleanest” language:

I couldn’t love this site more. It’s easy to use, you get badges and geeky info and it’s pretty. Plus, you get daily email reminders, which has guilted me into participating when I’m not in the mood.

I’ve done it four times now (though not in a row) and I’m already feeling like I’ve not only accomplished something, but had two epiphanies while writing. Something about being able to get your words out fast has such an impact on what comes out.

While I was singing it’s praises to a friend, she mentioned another, similar site, that deletes your words if you don’t write fast enough (can’t for the life of me remember the name). How awesome for when you’re on deadline? Anyone else tried this site or make a habit of writing 750 words a day?

(Note: I haven’t been paid or harassed into promoting it, I’m just in love.)

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