by Marian Schembari on July 28, 2010
Yeah, I just wrote that.
Anyway, I wanted to do one of my periodic check-ins to see how I’m doing with you guys. The past few months have seen some major growth on my site, but I want to make sure I’m not blogging away just to hear myself… well… blog.
I’ve implemented two new series: Critique My Profile and a still unnamed Awesome Feature.
So how am I doing?
- What would you like to see more of?
- Which have been your favorite posts in the past 2 months?
- Too much personal stuff? Not enough?
- Any burning questions you’d like me to address?
- What do I do best?
- Any services you think I should provide? Free content I can give away?
- How can I make my newsletter more intriguing?
- Aaaannnd…. How did you find me? Answering this Q will be enormously helpful for me to figure out what works and what doesn’t (from people and not Google Analytics)
My blog has evolved into what can only be described as “my baby.” It’s the one job I do that never feels like work, always gives a return on my investment (not monetarily, unfortunately), and basically keeps me up until all hours without complaint. But not only do I want it to be a place that I love, but a blog you look forward to reading. I want to give you an INSANE amount of value – but also fun! Your thoughts, opinions, and ideas are incredibly important to me, so share!
Give me your feedback, friendly friends! The more the merrier and the better this site can be :)
by Marian Schembari on July 15, 2010
You’d think after my blog resulted in 24-hour detainment that I’d take a hard look at my content. I mean, if you’re Gen Y, you’ve heard this a thousand times: “Be careful what you put online. It’s there forever.” Yes. Thank you, Grandma.
Even if you’re not Gen Y though, you’ve heard horror stories of people putting things online and get fired/arrested/murdered in their sleep. A few months ago I came across this post on Lamebook:

My buddy Richie already tore this chick a new one, so I’ll refrain from spewing how UTTERLY STUPID this was. I’m sure the girl knows that already and the lessons are pretty obvious. Keep in mind that Google Alerts means anything you write about a company will show up in their inbox and if you’re looking for a job, maybe don’t come across as completely unprofessional. Be smart, people.
I’m Still Effing Credible
Occasionally someone tells me to tone down my language because it “undercuts my credibility,” but I feel like there are so many social media blogs, that’s it’s really a relationship to the blogger, that makes you stand out.
My new buddy and Pajama Job Hunter, John Patten, wrote this post, and while he wrote some AMAZING things about me, this is my (second) favorite bit:
I want to do business with people who have a sense of humor, a fun personality, AND who know their stuff. You may be ranked #1 in your field, but if you’re as exciting as C-SPAN3, then I’m going to take a peek at the #2 and #3 person to see if there’s a pulse hidden in there among all the Excel spreadsheets.
I 100% agree with John, but also realize that not everyone likes my personality. I bet every day people read something of mine and immediately leave because they’re offended by my language or hate the way I write. But do you know what? That happens to EVERYONE. Every day I click out of blogs because I think they’re boring, redundant, or just don’t grab my attention. Every day we close our browsers because we don’t like something. We can’t please everyone so might as well be ourselves.
More on the Immigration Ordeal
During my detainment drama, a friend said, “This situation you’re in is the perfect example of why you need to pay better attention to what you write. If the immigration officers see you cursing, they might not be so eager to help.”
Really? Really? They’re deporting me because I drop the f-bomb occasionally?
I get where she’s coming from, I really do. So maybe it’s my youth or naivety, but if writing “fuck” acts as fodder for an immigration official to deport me, then, well, FUCK THAT.
Honestly, the effect of swearing is an interesting phenomenon. NPR recently wrote, “Using swear words at the right time can pack an ‘emotional wallop’ that ordinary words just don’t have.” Definitely, but why does doing it mean I’m also suddenly less credible? Why does my language have any bearing on whether or not I’m allowed in a country?
There’s a discussion going on at Brazen Careerist about blog language, and I’ve heard most of their arguments before. Apparently swearing:
- Proves you have bad vocabulary. If you can only think of “crap” to describe your feelings, then you obviously haven’t mastered the English language.
- Offends your readers. I’m sure it does, but I’ve got a potty mouth in real life so I’m just being authentic. Why should I cater to you if you won’t like me in person anyway? Wondering why don’t I stop swearing all together? Come on guys, are you asking me to change my personality? Should we all just act the same because we don’t want to offend someone? Ugh, this argument is boring me now.
Censorship
This post isn’t just about swearing though, it’s about blog censorship in general. I write about my career, my personal life, my travels, my clients, along with general advice where I try to be useful. Together this makes for a blog that has gotten me far: I’ve made new friends, started a solo career, become more outgoing… If I were inauthentic and tried to please everyone I wouldn’t have the readership I do and I love each and every one of you for sticking with me.
My blog serves its purpose. If I were applying for a “real job” I would probably tone it down. If I weren’t trying to get clients I would probably up the ante. But right now my clients are amazingly fun people who have potty mouths themselves and are great to work with. When I meet readers in real life, you know what to expect. I’m passionate about what I do, enthusiastic, a little scrappy, honest as all hell, and will under no circumstances apologize for that. I would happily be appealing in Iceland right now otherwise.
by Marian Schembari on July 13, 2010
Alrighty folks, I know I left you on a cliffhanger last time, so let’s just jump right back in.
(Confused? Go here. Then come back.)
How I Escaped The Slammer

After my initial horror at being told I would be deported to freaking Iceland, I got into Marian-mode. I waited too long to come to England, my boyfriend and I had been through too much. Hell. No. To give you a better idea of what charges were made against me, here’s a list:
- I hadn’t purchased a ticket home and was unsure about the length of my stay. While I knew I wouldn’t be in the UK for more than 6 months, my trip could have been a few weeks or it could have been until November. My “unsureness” was suspicious and the immigration officer was convinced I was lying.
- I had $4 in my wallet, which apparently is proof I have no other funds available. There is no ATM between the airplane and customs, by the way.
- I had no proof of my intention to travel to New Zealand. While I told the officer about my plans to live there, I hadn’t applied for a working visa yet (5 months in advance), which apparently means I am “not acceptable there.” (Her words, not mine.)
- I was unable to provide confirmation of employment. Okay, this is a tricky one. I said I was a freelance consultant, but don’t usually carry pay stubs or Pay Pal receipts with me. My website wasn’t enough, either.
In order to have a fighting chance at being let in, Boyfriend Sam bought me a ticket home (£600, one-way), my parents provided bank statements, family friends (UK citizens) acted as my guarantors, Sam’s parents wrote a letter confirming I would be in New Zealand come December, and the officers did a thorough sweep of my website.
And found this.
Defending my choice of blog topics will be a follow up to this post, so I won’t address it now. That said, I think the immigration officer read the headline, assumed I would never leave the UK and responded to my appeal with a prompt “No.”
Then my mom called. No fancy family friend or guarantor or £600 airplane ticket could do what my mom did in a 20 minute phone call. That woman is a force to be reckoned with, and while I didn’t hear the conversation, I assume she argued that officer into submission. That, or my family and friend’s consistent check-ins annoyed the whole office into releasing me.
Beyond My Story
At 2pm on Friday I was granted freedom. And let me tell you something, it felt damn good.
Except I left behind a group of detainees, all of whom would be deported. Many of whom couldn’t reach their families. A good portion of whom spoke no English whatsoever.
A Nigerian woman who rode next to me in the transport van leaned over every few minutes and ask, “Prison?” “No. Not prison,” I responded. “Detention facility.” She definitely had no idea what I was talking about and no one took the time to explain. The officers and escorts didn’t speak her language, and they operated under the school of thought that speaking louder equals understanding.
Just think about this for a second: You’re traveling to another country and for no reason you can understand you’re taken by uniformed men and locked in a room. No one tells you why and all you hear is shouting. After hours of sitting in this locked room you’re thrown into the back of a van and driven 3 hours in the middle of the damn night to the middle of damn nowhere. Then you’re poked and prodded by a doctor you didn’t authorize to poke and prod you, you’re interrogated more in a language you don’t understand. You’re locked in another room for the night.
Who knows where she is. Who knows what will happen to her. Another woman I was transported with has been in and out of facilities for a week. A WEEK. With no idea why!
Do you know what I’m sick of though? People telling me it would have been worse in the States. You know what? I don’t freaking care. You don’t treat people like that, period. And immigration officers? Don’t punish me for being American. I know our policies suck, but I didn’t make the rules! So stop telling me that I wouldn’t have even gotten a phone call back home, because I’m not home. I’m here. And while the officers were nice(ish), they also treated me like a terrorist.
Where I Go From Here…
I’m writing this from my new bed in the UK and have been granted temporary residence until the 18th of November. Yes, I realize how incredibly incredibly lucky I am, but I’m also furious and a little traumatized and a lot tired. This blog focuses on stuff not at all related to immigration, but regular posts will be suspended this week so I can air out my drama. Check back tomorrow for the details on how my blog almost got me deported and why I’m still refusing to censor myself.
by Marian Schembari on July 11, 2010
The only thing that’s kept me sane for the past few days has been composing this post. I probably should have known the second my mom said, “I hope your flight gets delayed and you get stranded in Iceland,” that my trip was about to go horribly wrong.
God, what an intro. I sound like a YA author: “Hi. My name’s Marian, I’m 12 years old, and this is how the British government ruined my summer.” (Note: I had a layover in Iceland and my mom has always wanted to see the country and was hoping to live vicariously through me. This wasn’t a malicious comment.)
Basically, Boyfriend Sam and I did some research and found that I could stay in the UK for 6 months as long as I wasn’t working or studying. Nowhere did the website say there was a physical visa I needed to obtain, and since I’m broke, I figured I’d be good without one. Strike one, Britain.
Journal Entry – July 8, 2010
As I (hand) write this, I’m being held in Gatwick airport for the second day in a row. At around midnight yesterday I was transferred to a women’s detention facility (Yarl’s Wood – see left) three hours outside London. Meaning I probably got around 2 hours of sleep before being shipped back out to Gatwick.
I use the word “sleep” loosely. My bed consisted of a cot and unwashed sheets and it’s kind of hard to sleep with giant beetles scuttling around the floors. And when I say “shipped” I mean “transported in a bullet proof van with tinted windows and a cage inside.” I’m being deported back to Iceland at 7:30 tonight. It’s been a good 24 hours.
I’ve been treated like a criminal because I didn’t have a ticket back home, so right now I’m waiting for Sam, his lawyer friend, all his roommates, my mother and a family friend to pull some miracle out of their collective ass.
As I write this I realize how privileged I sound. Oooh! My prison didn’t have clean sheets! My daddy’s hot shot friend hasn’t bailed me out yet! Half the people here don’t speak English and at least I have a home to go back to. I shouldn’t whine, but I’m scared. I’ve spent 6 of the last 24 hours in a cage. I’ve been locked in a room for the other 18. An immigration officer read my diary and interrogated my boyfriend. Yeah, it’s been a GREAT day.
Despite being freaked out and tired and hungry and bored, the worst part has been the frustration. It’s obvious the officers here were bullied as kids and get off on making us feel small. Reading my diary? Really? Plus, my reasons for being deported are ridiculous, and every time I ask for more details or information on an appeal or how to apply for a visa I get a different answer. No one seems to know anything, or if they do, their answers all contradict each other.
The airport holding center is stocked with fruit, biscuits and store brand chips. They’ve got a pay phone that doesn’t call out, bathrooms with no locks, hotel pads of paper and those mini pens, one of which I’ve already used up. The news is on in the background and the bookcase is filled with everything from the Bible and paperback romances, to a five-year old guide to Brazil and a few children’s books written in Urdu. I did, however, find a recent issue of Wired, which is like gold in the Big House.
I’ve made two friends – an Australian and a Brazilian – both of whom were detained under suspiciously similar circumstances. I’ve spent most of of the time here bawling, and when Sam was finally able to call I was sobbing so hard my eyes were throbbing. A very tall pregnant Nigerian got me a tissue and said, “You stop crying now.” I think it was meant to be comforting.
The Bigger Picture
There is so much more to this story, but I know how ADD blog readers are, so I’ll stop at 800 words. Check back tomorrow for the ending, but keep in mind that I’m terrified that writing this means immigration officers will barge in and put me back in that damn van (hi guys!). But this isn’t just my story anymore. The past few days have been horrible, but it’s a small part of a much bigger situation. That Nigerian woman didn’t have anyone fighting for her. Being trucked off for 3 hours to the middle of nowhere with no idea what was happening must have been beyond traumatizing. I can’t even imagine what it was like for the children involved.
I was lucky as hell, because one (incredibly nice, handsome, wonderful) officer actually took the time to review my case THREE times and was instrumental in my release. I owe him my sanity, the insane amount of money I would have spent appealing in Iceland, and probably a dozen cupcakes.
Stay tuned…
I Love You, Commenters
by Marian Schembari on July 19, 2010
If you haven’t noticed, I now have a fancy new widget called “Top Commentators”. It’s exactly what it sounds like – a super-cool WordPress plugin that refreshes every month to list the people commenting most frequently here on marianlibrarian.com.
I did this for a couple reasons. First of all, you guys are so freaking awesome and I adore you. While sometimes people click on commenters names to see who they are, it’s not the most frequent occurrence. People will be MUCH more likely to find you if you’re link is in the sidebar. Secondly, I love comments! This is not new information. However, I want to keep encouraging you to leave your thoughts here and hopefully knowing that the top five of you will be listed
every month will motivate you to comment!
On top of all that, I created a Twitter list here, where anyone who regularly comments will be listed (“regularly” just means I’ve read your name more than twice). The reason for this is so a) I can keep tabs on you and what you’re up to, and b) you guys can get to know each other! Follow one another on Twitter and keep the conversation going when I’m not around (aka “sleeping”).
I briefly installed CommentLuv, but I didn’t like how removing Disqus got rid of my threaded comments. Responding to every comment is something I take a lot of pride (and effort) in, so removing the conversation aspect took the heart out of my blog. So, Disqus has basically blackmailed me into staying. Sorry, y’all.
Anyhoodle, the best thing about having this site is the community that’s developed. I’ve made some kick ass friendships via phone, email and met many of you in person. Throughout the year I’ve been blogging, my ability to actually be a real, social, person has increased like nobody’s business. And it’s all been because of you and your support and kind words. Well, except you, asshat.
So keep on chatting – I’m diggin’ it. I’m curious though – how do you encourage and reward your commenters?
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